1 00:00:07,760 --> 00:00:11,679 Welcome back to "Who Wants to Remain a Millionaire?" 2 00:00:11,680 --> 00:00:18,599 I'm your host, fake farmer and real asshole, Jeremy Clarkson. 3 00:00:18,600 --> 00:00:21,679 Let's bring out our contestant for tonight. 4 00:00:21,680 --> 00:00:23,359 You hate him, I hate him. 5 00:00:23,360 --> 00:00:26,079 It's Prime Minister Keir Starmer. 6 00:00:33,280 --> 00:00:36,279 It's great to be here, Jeremy. 7 00:00:36,280 --> 00:00:38,359 Great to have you here, Sir Keir. 8 00:00:38,360 --> 00:00:39,759 Now, let's play. 9 00:00:41,520 --> 00:00:44,599 We start with your first and indeed only question. 10 00:00:44,600 --> 00:00:51,399 Is it ever a good ideaú to give Peter Mandelson a job? 11 00:00:51,400 --> 00:00:56,799 Is it A, no, B, of course not, C, not 12 00:00:56,800 --> 00:01:04,519 ú in a million years, or D, yes. 13 00:01:04,520 --> 00:01:07,279 It's a tricky one. 14 00:01:07,280 --> 00:01:08,679 Jeremy, I think I'm going to have 15 00:01:08,680 --> 00:01:11,239 ú to use a lifeline on this one. 16 00:01:11,240 --> 00:01:12,679 Can I ask the audience? 17 00:01:12,680 --> 00:01:13,359 OK. 18 00:01:13,360 --> 00:01:14,759 Audience, on your keypads, please. 19 00:01:14,760 --> 00:01:18,119 Is it ever a good idea to give pedophile, 20 00:01:18,120 --> 00:01:22,759 a Jason Bond villain, Peter Mandelson, a job. 21 00:01:22,760 --> 00:01:25,199 Vote now. 22 00:01:25,200 --> 00:01:27,519 Pretty comprehensive. 23 00:01:27,520 --> 00:01:29,759 What do you make of that, Sir Keir? 24 00:01:29,760 --> 00:01:31,399 I'll be honest, Jeremy. 25 00:01:31,400 --> 00:01:34,359 I'm leaning towards D. 26 00:01:34,360 --> 00:01:37,639 But seeing that has put a seed of doubt in my mind. 27 00:01:37,640 --> 00:01:41,279 I'd like to use another lifeline. 28 00:01:41,280 --> 00:01:42,479 Really? 29 00:01:42,480 --> 00:01:43,199 Yes. 30 00:01:43,200 --> 00:01:45,159 50/50, please, Jeremy. 31 00:01:45,160 --> 00:01:45,719 OK. 32 00:01:45,720 --> 00:01:53,599 Computer, can you loseú two wrong answers, please? 33 00:01:53,600 --> 00:01:55,559 Oh, gosh. 34 00:01:55,560 --> 00:01:59,599 This looks so much easier at home. 35 00:01:59,600 --> 00:02:04,199 But-- but-- 36 00:02:04,200 --> 00:02:06,319 But-- but Jeremy-- 37 00:02:06,320 --> 00:02:12,679 @ But I'm afraid I'm just notúbeing presented with the facts. 38 00:02:12,680 --> 00:02:15,759 @ I think I'm going to have to phone a friend. 39 00:02:15,760 --> 00:02:16,479 OK. 40 00:02:16,480 --> 00:02:18,039 Sir Keir, who are you going to call? 41 00:02:18,040 --> 00:02:22,239 I'd like to call Peter Mandelson. 42 00:02:22,240 --> 00:02:23,039 Here goes. 43 00:02:23,040 --> 00:02:24,559 ú Let's hope he has the answer. 44 00:02:27,640 --> 00:02:29,279 Hello. 45 00:02:29,280 --> 00:02:30,119 Hi, Peter. 46 00:02:30,120 --> 00:02:31,079 Jeremy Clarkson here. 47 00:02:31,080 --> 00:02:33,479 I've got Sir Keir with me, he needs your help. 48 00:02:33,480 --> 00:02:36,399 úSir Keir, your time starts now. 49 00:02:36,400 --> 00:02:37,199 Hi, Peter. 50 00:02:37,200 --> 00:02:40,239 First things first, how have you been? 51 00:02:40,240 --> 00:02:43,119 ú- Frighteningly well, Sir Keir. 52 00:02:43,120 --> 00:02:45,079 How may I be of service? 53 00:02:45,080 --> 00:02:45,759 10 seconds left. 54 00:02:45,760 --> 00:02:46,799 ú - Peter, I am being rushed. 55 00:02:46,800 --> 00:02:52,639 @ So I have to ask, is it everú a good idea to give you a job? 56 00:02:52,640 --> 00:02:53,759 Me? 57 00:02:53,760 --> 00:02:54,719 A job? 58 00:02:54,720 --> 00:02:58,279 ú I'd be careful if I were you. 59 00:03:01,600 --> 00:03:05,599 Oh, Peter, you'll have me going in a minute. 60 00:03:10,080 --> 00:03:12,719 úHe's a cheeky monkey, that one. 61 00:03:12,720 --> 00:03:16,279 Well, Sir Keir, did that help? 62 00:03:16,280 --> 00:03:18,239 I'm afraid not. 63 00:03:18,240 --> 00:03:20,079 ú Time to use another lifeline. 64 00:03:20,080 --> 00:03:21,039 Let's go. 65 00:03:21,040 --> 00:03:23,119 50/50 again. 66 00:03:23,120 --> 00:03:24,679 You know what? I'll allow it. 67 00:03:24,680 --> 00:03:31,199 Computer. 68 00:03:31,200 --> 00:03:32,639 OK, Jeremy. 69 00:03:32,640 --> 00:03:34,079 I have my answer. 70 00:03:34,080 --> 00:03:36,239 I know it's not conventional, but 71 00:03:36,240 --> 00:03:40,599 @I'd actually like to bring backú one of the previous options 72 00:03:40,600 --> 00:03:45,599 because I'm going to go with D, final answer. 73 00:03:45,600 --> 00:03:47,439 Are you totally sure? 74 00:03:47,440 --> 00:03:52,279 Oh, never. 75 00:03:52,280 --> 00:03:53,559 I am sorry, Sir Keir. 76 00:03:53,560 --> 00:03:56,159 I'm afraid the correct answer was C. 77 00:03:56,160 --> 00:03:57,079 Oh, Jeremy. 78 00:03:57,080 --> 00:04:01,159 It's clear to me now that was the wrong decision. 79 00:04:01,160 --> 00:04:07,199 Would I make the same decision again, knowing what I know now? 80 00:04:07,200 --> 00:04:08,999 Quite possibly. 81 00:04:09,000 --> 00:04:11,679 But that doesn't change the fact that-- 82 00:04:11,680 --> 00:04:16,079 Live from London, it's "Saturday Night." 83 00:04:20,440 --> 00:04:37,119 It's "Saturday Night Live" with Hammed Amimashaun. 84 00:04:37,120 --> 00:04:44,199 Ayoade Bamgboye. 85 00:04:44,200 --> 00:04:50,479 Larry Dean. 86 00:04:50,480 --> 00:04:56,639 Celeste Dring. 87 00:04:56,640 --> 00:05:02,720 George Fouracres. 88 00:05:02,960 --> 00:05:08,519 Ania Magliano. 89 00:05:08,520 --> 00:05:14,079 Annabel Marlow. 90 00:05:14,080 --> 00:05:19,319 Al Nash. 91 00:05:19,320 --> 00:05:25,679 Jack Shep. 92 00:05:25,680 --> 00:05:33,359 Emma Sidi. 93 00:05:33,360 --> 00:05:39,679 Paddy Young. 94 00:05:39,680 --> 00:05:46,319 ú Musical guest, Foo Fighters. 95 00:05:46,320 --> 00:05:50,159 úAnd your host, Nicola Coughlan. 96 00:05:58,080 --> 00:06:02,239 Ladies and gentlemen, Nicola Coughlan. 97 00:06:14,160 --> 00:06:15,519 Oh. 98 00:06:15,520 --> 00:06:16,559 Thank you! 99 00:06:16,560 --> 00:06:17,479 Thank you so much. 100 00:06:17,480 --> 00:06:20,319 I am Nicola Coughlan, and I am so excited to be 101 00:06:20,320 --> 00:06:22,199 here hosting what is increasingly 102 00:06:22,200 --> 00:06:27,199 becoming "SNL UK and Ireland." 103 00:06:27,200 --> 00:06:28,999 So you might know me from "Derry Girls," 104 00:06:29,000 --> 00:06:31,559 where I played a schoolgirl who came out as a lesbian, 105 00:06:31,560 --> 00:06:35,399 or "Big Mood," where I played a writer who came out as bipolar, 106 00:06:35,400 --> 00:06:38,039 or "Bridgerton," where I played an aristocrat 107 00:06:38,040 --> 00:06:42,359 who came out as a messy bitch who lives for drama. 108 00:06:42,360 --> 00:06:45,039 Isn't at all like me in real life. 109 00:06:45,040 --> 00:06:50,159 Jack Shep, yeah, he drank all of Emma's Sidi's Banana Yazoo. 110 00:06:50,160 --> 00:06:50,759 Shh. 111 00:06:50,760 --> 00:06:53,479 Fun fact though, back when I had nothing but dreams, 112 00:06:53,480 --> 00:06:56,679 I actually used to sell frozen yogurt across the street. 113 00:06:56,680 --> 00:06:57,559 It's a true story. 114 00:06:57,560 --> 00:07:02,599 But since I'm rich and famous now, someone gets it for me. 115 00:07:02,600 --> 00:07:04,079 Two scoops of berry blast. 116 00:07:04,080 --> 00:07:05,639 Not now, minion. 117 00:07:05,640 --> 00:07:08,679 But I have to say, being here is such a dream come true. 118 00:07:08,680 --> 00:07:10,159 I am an "SNL" superfan. 119 00:07:10,160 --> 00:07:12,199 I can't believe I get to stand on this famous set 120 00:07:12,200 --> 00:07:14,279 where some of the most talented entertainers 121 00:07:14,280 --> 00:07:17,519 have stood, like Tina Fey or Jamie Dornan 122 00:07:17,520 --> 00:07:19,559 or me five weeks ago. 123 00:07:19,560 --> 00:07:24,079 Yeah, I was here on that very first ever episode of "SNL UK" 124 00:07:24,080 --> 00:07:27,159 last month, where I got to live every man's dream-- 125 00:07:27,160 --> 00:07:30,639 shouting at a female comedian on television. 126 00:07:30,640 --> 00:07:33,679 This evening, I really wanted to recreate the magic 127 00:07:33,680 --> 00:07:35,359 of the original 1970s "SNL." 128 00:07:35,360 --> 00:07:40,759 So to prepare, I have consumed a staggering amount of cocaine. 129 00:07:40,760 --> 00:07:44,039 Honestly, I could knock out a horse. 130 00:07:44,040 --> 00:07:46,079 But look, it's an honor to be hosting. 131 00:07:46,080 --> 00:07:48,479 It sort of feels like I manifested it somehow. 132 00:07:48,480 --> 00:07:52,319 It's almost like this place is like magic. 133 00:07:52,320 --> 00:07:55,719 That's because it is. 134 00:08:04,520 --> 00:08:06,639 It's "SNL" royalty, Jimmy Fallon. 135 00:08:06,640 --> 00:08:08,319 Yeah, thanks for having me. 136 00:08:08,320 --> 00:08:10,199 Sorry, can you repeat your name? 137 00:08:10,200 --> 00:08:11,439 It's very tricky to pronounce. 138 00:08:11,440 --> 00:08:12,519 Yeah, of course. 139 00:08:12,520 --> 00:08:13,639 It's Nicola. 140 00:08:13,640 --> 00:08:16,720 God, I love the British sense of humor. 141 00:08:16,960 --> 00:08:18,279 I'm Irish, Jimmy. 142 00:08:18,280 --> 00:08:19,720 Educate yourself. 143 00:08:19,960 --> 00:08:21,119 Hey, educate yourself. 144 00:08:21,120 --> 00:08:23,679 My great, great grandpa is from Ireland. 145 00:08:25,520 --> 00:08:27,199 Oh, you speak Irish? 146 00:08:27,200 --> 00:08:29,119 Well, what region was that from? 147 00:08:29,120 --> 00:08:29,719 Duolingo. 148 00:08:29,720 --> 00:08:31,719 Oh, it is beautiful there. 149 00:08:31,720 --> 00:08:34,559 But, like, as much fun as this is, can I-- can 150 00:08:34,560 --> 00:08:35,719 I just get back to hosting? 151 00:08:35,720 --> 00:08:37,399 Yeah, well, that's why I'm here, Nicola, 152 00:08:37,400 --> 00:08:39,239 to teach you the biggest secret of "SNL" 153 00:08:39,240 --> 00:08:40,599 that no one wants you to know. 154 00:08:40,600 --> 00:08:41,399 Oh, which is? 155 00:08:41,400 --> 00:08:45,039 Well, don't tell anyone, but it's live. 156 00:08:45,040 --> 00:08:48,119 Yeah, they don't really try to hide that, Jimmy. 157 00:08:48,120 --> 00:08:49,119 It's in the title. 158 00:08:49,120 --> 00:08:50,239 No, you're not getting it. 159 00:08:50,240 --> 00:08:51,199 It's actually live. 160 00:08:51,200 --> 00:08:52,559 I mean, you could do whatever you want. 161 00:08:52,560 --> 00:08:54,479 You can go wherever you want. You're the host. 162 00:08:54,480 --> 00:08:55,519 They don't stop you. 163 00:08:55,520 --> 00:08:56,559 What do you mean? 164 00:08:56,560 --> 00:08:57,519 What do I mean? 165 00:08:57,520 --> 00:08:58,719 Ben, give me some music. 166 00:08:59,560 --> 00:09:01,559 You see, Nicola, we don't have to stay on this stage. 167 00:09:01,560 --> 00:09:03,199 We can go into the audience. 168 00:09:03,200 --> 00:09:05,359 Look at this beautiful crowd! 169 00:09:05,360 --> 00:09:06,239 Look at this man! 170 00:09:06,240 --> 00:09:08,159 You can rub this man's hair if you like! 171 00:09:08,160 --> 00:09:09,439 Why not? - I'm sorry. 172 00:09:09,440 --> 00:09:10,159 Sorry. 173 00:09:10,160 --> 00:09:12,159 I mean, look who it is, though? 174 00:09:12,160 --> 00:09:13,279 Sir Paul McCartney himself! 175 00:09:13,280 --> 00:09:14,159 Oh, my goodness! 176 00:09:14,160 --> 00:09:15,199 I can't believe he's here! 177 00:09:15,200 --> 00:09:16,479 Jimmy, I don't think that's a Beatle. 178 00:09:16,480 --> 00:09:18,239 Well, every American thinks everyone from England 179 00:09:18,240 --> 00:09:19,719 is in The Beatles. - Oh, fair enough. 180 00:09:19,720 --> 00:09:20,679 I get you. - Yeah. 181 00:09:20,680 --> 00:09:22,039 - That's fine. - This is it. 182 00:09:22,040 --> 00:09:23,239 Oh, my gosh! Look at this. 183 00:09:23,240 --> 00:09:25,079 Paddy and Ania are getting ready for a "Weekend Update." 184 00:09:25,080 --> 00:09:26,239 Give them some news. - Hey. 185 00:09:26,240 --> 00:09:30,159 Jack Shep, he does his number twos in your dressing rooms. 186 00:09:30,160 --> 00:09:30,999 Later, nerds! 187 00:09:31,000 --> 00:09:32,399 That's what I'm talking about! 188 00:09:32,400 --> 00:09:33,319 Start feeling the power! 189 00:09:33,320 --> 00:09:35,359 - Jimmy, I'm getting it now. - Yes. 190 00:09:35,360 --> 00:09:36,119 I'm the host! 191 00:09:36,120 --> 00:09:37,279 I can do anything I want! 192 00:09:37,280 --> 00:09:39,039 How do you like me now, London? 193 00:09:39,560 --> 00:09:40,559 I mean, this is it. 194 00:09:40,560 --> 00:09:41,559 This is "SNL UK Live." 195 00:09:41,560 --> 00:09:44,599 When else can you hold up a copy of today's newspaper 196 00:09:44,600 --> 00:09:45,559 and have it make sense? 197 00:09:45,560 --> 00:09:47,119 Do you know what I'm saying? 198 00:09:47,120 --> 00:09:47,599 Yes! 199 00:09:47,600 --> 00:09:49,399 Jimmy, Jimmy, look, it's Dave Grohl. 200 00:09:49,400 --> 00:09:50,039 Yeah. 201 00:09:50,040 --> 00:09:51,279 Well, you should ask him to be best 202 00:09:51,280 --> 00:09:52,639 friends because we're live. 203 00:09:52,640 --> 00:09:54,279 He has to say yes. 204 00:09:54,280 --> 00:09:55,760 Mr. Dave Grohl, sir. 205 00:09:56,000 --> 00:09:56,599 Oh, hi. 206 00:09:56,600 --> 00:09:59,679 Could we-- could we please be best friends? 207 00:09:59,680 --> 00:10:00,559 Sure, why not? 208 00:10:00,560 --> 00:10:02,279 - Oh, yeah. - Yeah! 209 00:10:02,280 --> 00:10:02,880 Yeah! 210 00:10:03,000 --> 00:10:04,279 See you later, bestie! 211 00:10:05,080 --> 00:10:06,719 That was incredible! - Yeah, I'm telling you. 212 00:10:06,720 --> 00:10:08,039 You've got it! You got it! 213 00:10:08,040 --> 00:10:10,239 Oh, look, there's George. 214 00:10:10,240 --> 00:10:11,759 Oh, hello, Jimmy Fallon. 215 00:10:11,760 --> 00:10:17,079 And as for you, don't forget, it doesn't matter, 216 00:10:17,080 --> 00:10:18,279 Nicola Coughlan! 217 00:10:18,280 --> 00:10:20,279 None of this is real! 218 00:10:20,280 --> 00:10:22,039 It is real, George Fouracres. 219 00:10:22,040 --> 00:10:22,800 I'm the host now. 220 00:10:23,000 --> 00:10:24,199 And don't you forget it! 221 00:10:24,200 --> 00:10:25,239 Ooh, gosh. 222 00:10:25,240 --> 00:10:26,039 Oh, my goodness! 223 00:10:26,040 --> 00:10:27,279 I broke it with my bare hands! 224 00:10:27,280 --> 00:10:28,559 You're really-- you're feeling 225 00:10:28,560 --> 00:10:30,199 this energy almost too much. - Yeah, I know. 226 00:10:30,200 --> 00:10:32,519 It's like the cocaine is, like, really kicking in! 227 00:10:32,520 --> 00:10:33,799 Oh, maybe that's what it is. 228 00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:34,639 Maybe that's it. 229 00:10:34,640 --> 00:10:36,439 Yeah, but either way, it's happening. 230 00:10:36,440 --> 00:10:38,199 You can feel the energy. 231 00:10:38,200 --> 00:10:39,359 Literally no one on stage. 232 00:10:39,360 --> 00:10:40,719 Are we doing the show? 233 00:10:40,720 --> 00:10:41,599 The show? 234 00:10:41,600 --> 00:10:43,359 It's more about the show. 235 00:10:43,360 --> 00:10:45,119 This is magic! 236 00:10:48,200 --> 00:10:49,559 Yeah, Jimmy, I can still see you. 237 00:10:49,560 --> 00:10:51,599 - Oh, I'm sorry, sorry. - Come on, let's go, let's go! 238 00:10:51,600 --> 00:10:53,439 Let's go! Let's start this show. 239 00:10:53,440 --> 00:10:54,359 Let's go. 240 00:10:57,200 --> 00:10:58,119 Come on. 241 00:10:58,120 --> 00:10:58,839 Go, go, go! 242 00:10:58,840 --> 00:10:59,839 This is your night. 243 00:10:59,840 --> 00:11:02,239 Show them what a great night we have. 244 00:11:02,240 --> 00:11:05,159 Tell them the great news! This is your night! 245 00:11:05,160 --> 00:11:05,679 Go! 246 00:11:05,680 --> 00:11:07,119 We have got a great show for you 247 00:11:07,120 --> 00:11:09,039 tonight with music from the iconic Foo Fighters. 248 00:11:09,040 --> 00:11:10,760 So stick around and enjoy this! 249 00:11:11,000 --> 00:11:11,639 Yes! 250 00:11:15,160 --> 00:11:17,519 Hey, guys, thank you so much for meeting with me today. 251 00:11:17,520 --> 00:11:18,559 Anytime, Nicola Coughlan. 252 00:11:18,560 --> 00:11:21,399 And can I just say, we loved your work 253 00:11:21,400 --> 00:11:23,519 in "The Magic Faraway Tree." 254 00:11:23,520 --> 00:11:24,319 Oh, thank you. 255 00:11:24,320 --> 00:11:26,719 Yes, you've done a real service to the classic books. 256 00:11:26,720 --> 00:11:28,759 Oh, look, it's been an absolute privilege. 257 00:11:29,520 --> 00:11:31,039 So what did you want to meet about? 258 00:11:31,040 --> 00:11:33,239 Well, I have actually written a song for the movie. 259 00:11:33,240 --> 00:11:34,039 Sorry, what? 260 00:11:34,040 --> 00:11:35,199 You know, like Will Smith does. 261 00:11:35,200 --> 00:11:37,439 Made like a lovely song for the end credits. 262 00:11:37,440 --> 00:11:38,439 Oh, you shouldn't have. 263 00:11:38,440 --> 00:11:39,719 Yeah, you've done more than enough 264 00:11:39,720 --> 00:11:42,599 with your charming portrayal of Silky the elf. 265 00:11:42,600 --> 00:11:43,799 Whoa, gosh. 266 00:11:43,800 --> 00:11:45,799 You haven't heard it yet. 267 00:11:49,120 --> 00:11:50,319 ♪ It's the faraway tree ♪ 268 00:11:50,320 --> 00:11:51,479 ♪ And its magic as [bleep] ♪ 269 00:11:51,480 --> 00:11:54,279 ♪ Thick leaves, Nicky C, and a magical trunk ♪ 270 00:11:54,280 --> 00:11:55,519 ♪ It's a big [bleep] tree ♪ 271 00:11:55,520 --> 00:11:56,679 ú ♪ Gets a new land a day ♪ 272 00:11:56,680 --> 00:11:57,799 ♪ And you think it's big now ♪ 273 00:11:57,800 --> 00:12:00,199 ♪ Get this, it's far away! ♪ 274 00:12:00,200 --> 00:12:01,639 ♪ Hey, hey ♪ 275 00:12:01,640 --> 00:12:04,119 ♪ Nicola Coughlan ♪ 276 00:12:04,120 --> 00:12:05,559 ♪ I play a fairy named Silky ♪ 277 00:12:05,560 --> 00:12:06,679 ♪ I'm a little bit thotty ♪ 278 00:12:06,680 --> 00:12:09,239 ♪ It's based on a book by the bitch who did Noddy ♪ 279 00:12:09,240 --> 00:12:10,639 ú ♪ Magic realm in the clouds ♪ 280 00:12:10,640 --> 00:12:11,759 ú♪ Yeah, this shit so exciting ♪ 281 00:12:11,760 --> 00:12:13,759 ♪ A mind [bleep] fromú the twisted [bleep] thoughts ♪ 282 00:12:13,760 --> 00:12:14,759 ♪ of Enid Blyton ♪ 283 00:12:14,760 --> 00:12:15,719 ♪ And I'm coming ♪ 284 00:12:15,720 --> 00:12:17,039 ú ♪ And I'll steal your boy ♪ 285 00:12:17,040 --> 00:12:19,199 ♪ When I'm rollin' with my homies Garfield and Foy ♪ 286 00:12:19,200 --> 00:12:20,679 ♪ Yeah, there's Fran, Beth, and Joe ♪ 287 00:12:20,680 --> 00:12:21,759 ♪ Man, this family's sick ♪ 288 00:12:21,760 --> 00:12:23,279 ♪ But in the book, Fran and Beth ♪ 289 00:12:23,280 --> 00:12:24,679 ♪ are called Fanny and Dick! ♪ 290 00:12:24,680 --> 00:12:25,559 ♪ It's faraway ♪ 291 00:12:25,560 --> 00:12:27,279 ♪ Oak, Birch, or a Sycamore ♪ 292 00:12:27,280 --> 00:12:30,119 ♪ It's got a 93% Rotten Tomatoes score ♪ 293 00:12:30,120 --> 00:12:31,079 ♪ Critics agree ♪ 294 00:12:31,080 --> 00:12:32,279 ♪ Man, this movie's a blast ♪ 295 00:12:32,280 --> 00:12:33,519 ♪ Except for "The Times" ♪ 296 00:12:33,520 --> 00:12:35,799 ♪ You can eat my arse! ♪ 297 00:12:38,560 --> 00:12:39,559 Wow. 298 00:12:39,560 --> 00:12:40,679 OK. 299 00:12:40,680 --> 00:12:42,319 We love the enthusiasm. 300 00:12:42,320 --> 00:12:43,119 Thank you. 301 00:12:43,120 --> 00:12:45,239 It's not very Will Smithy, though, is it? 302 00:12:45,240 --> 00:12:45,759 Oh. 303 00:12:45,760 --> 00:12:47,239 It's more like Natalie Portman. 304 00:12:47,240 --> 00:12:48,159 I don't know her. 305 00:12:48,160 --> 00:12:50,559 We're just worried you're missing some of the family 306 00:12:50,560 --> 00:12:51,799 friendly themes of the film. 307 00:12:51,800 --> 00:12:57,439 You only mention how the tree is far away and [bleep] big. 308 00:12:57,440 --> 00:12:58,519 Oh, I get you. I get you. 309 00:12:58,520 --> 00:13:00,159 So, like, the song should be a bit more about, 310 00:13:00,160 --> 00:13:02,759 like, my experience filming the filming a movie? 311 00:13:02,760 --> 00:13:03,679 We didn't say-- 312 00:13:03,680 --> 00:13:04,759 ♪ It was filmed already ♪ 313 00:13:04,760 --> 00:13:06,319 ♪ And I don't mean to be cocky ♪ 314 00:13:06,320 --> 00:13:07,599 ♪ But on the set there was a lady ♪ 315 00:13:07,600 --> 00:13:08,719 ♪ Who would bring me a coffee ♪ 316 00:13:08,720 --> 00:13:09,759 ♪ And I gave up meals ♪ 317 00:13:09,760 --> 00:13:11,039 ♪ The snacks were infinite ♪ 318 00:13:11,040 --> 00:13:12,239 ♪ Have you ever seen a tree ♪ 319 00:13:12,240 --> 00:13:14,639 ♪ With [bleep] elves living in it! ♪ 320 00:13:14,640 --> 00:13:15,559 Well, they would have. 321 00:13:15,560 --> 00:13:18,599 If this song were to be in the credits, they, the audience, 322 00:13:18,600 --> 00:13:22,119 would have just seen a big tree with elves living in it. 323 00:13:22,120 --> 00:13:24,239 Why is there so much stuff about the on set catering? 324 00:13:24,240 --> 00:13:25,639 I just remember when we were filming, 325 00:13:25,640 --> 00:13:27,760 there was lots of really delicious snacks, OK? 326 00:13:28,000 --> 00:13:29,359 I think we've heard enough. 327 00:13:29,360 --> 00:13:30,319 Ah-duh-duh-duh. 328 00:13:30,320 --> 00:13:31,759 You haven't heard the guest verse. 329 00:13:31,760 --> 00:13:32,639 Who's the guest verse? 330 00:13:32,640 --> 00:13:33,679 ♪ My name is Keith ♪ 331 00:13:33,680 --> 00:13:34,759 ú ♪ I did the on set catering ♪ 332 00:13:34,760 --> 00:13:38,159 ♪ For when the cast and crew's energy is wavering ♪ 333 00:13:38,160 --> 00:13:39,199 ♪ Anything they need ♪ 334 00:13:39,200 --> 00:13:40,359 ♪ You knew I would get it ♪ 335 00:13:40,360 --> 00:13:42,759 @ ♪ Hey, look, here's my motherú [bleep] name in the credits ♪ 336 00:13:42,760 --> 00:13:44,199 ♪ It's the faraway tree ♪ 337 00:13:44,200 --> 00:13:45,239 ♪ And it's madness ♪ 338 00:13:45,240 --> 00:13:46,439 ♪ On the final shooting day ♪ 339 00:13:46,440 --> 00:13:47,599 ú ♪ We had an ice cream truck ♪ 340 00:13:47,600 --> 00:13:49,519 ♪ It lifted morale for the cast and crew ♪ 341 00:13:49,520 --> 00:13:53,759 @ ♪ Of the movie from the bitchú who wrote "Paddington 2" ♪ 342 00:13:55,400 --> 00:13:57,479 Well, thank you so much, Nicola. 343 00:13:57,480 --> 00:13:58,679 Featuring Keith. 344 00:13:58,680 --> 00:13:59,359 Yep. 345 00:13:59,360 --> 00:14:00,599 And of course, Keith from catering. 346 00:14:00,600 --> 00:14:03,519 We actually started dating on the movie "Anna." 347 00:14:03,520 --> 00:14:06,359 Let me tell you, things got pretty freaky. 348 00:14:06,360 --> 00:14:07,239 ♪ Whoa! ♪ 349 00:14:07,240 --> 00:14:08,559 No, don't please. 350 00:14:08,560 --> 00:14:09,399 That's enough. 351 00:14:09,400 --> 00:14:12,199 I can tell that's gonna be explicit. 352 00:14:47,800 --> 00:14:50,359 Guys, we literally have nothing. 353 00:14:50,360 --> 00:14:52,199 Where the hell are we gonna find a story? 354 00:14:52,200 --> 00:14:53,719 We go to print in three hours! 355 00:14:53,720 --> 00:14:54,679 I don't understand. 356 00:14:54,680 --> 00:14:57,239 It's like no one has insane anecdotes anymore. 357 00:14:57,240 --> 00:14:59,679 We're just gonna have to face it, gang. 358 00:14:59,680 --> 00:15:01,079 This is the end of "What a Life" 359 00:15:01,080 --> 00:15:05,279 Magazine, Morrison's 71st best-selling 360 00:15:05,280 --> 00:15:07,159 bimonthly publication. 361 00:15:07,160 --> 00:15:08,399 God! 362 00:15:08,400 --> 00:15:09,319 Don't say that. 363 00:15:09,320 --> 00:15:11,439 We can still turn this around. - How? 364 00:15:11,440 --> 00:15:12,559 You know how. 365 00:15:12,560 --> 00:15:13,439 No! 366 00:15:13,440 --> 00:15:14,519 Becky, we can't. 367 00:15:14,520 --> 00:15:16,399 We said we wouldn't do that anymore. 368 00:15:16,400 --> 00:15:17,719 But it's our only hope. 369 00:15:17,720 --> 00:15:19,639 It works every time. 370 00:15:19,640 --> 00:15:20,439 She's right. 371 00:15:20,440 --> 00:15:21,759 We're gonna have to do it. 372 00:15:21,760 --> 00:15:23,639 We're gonna have to talk to-- 373 00:15:23,640 --> 00:15:26,039 Paula in accounts. 374 00:15:31,080 --> 00:15:32,079 Good day, Paula. 375 00:15:32,080 --> 00:15:33,759 Did you get up to much last night? 376 00:15:33,760 --> 00:15:38,079 Oh, you know, dinner, telly, having 377 00:15:38,080 --> 00:15:40,239 sex with my neighbor's ghost! 378 00:15:40,240 --> 00:15:41,479 Come on! 379 00:15:41,480 --> 00:15:44,519 Oh, that's lovely. 380 00:15:44,520 --> 00:15:46,039 What's his name? 381 00:15:46,040 --> 00:15:46,559 Frank! 382 00:15:46,560 --> 00:15:49,519 Died of fatty liver disease 14 years ago. 383 00:15:49,520 --> 00:15:53,159 His favorite drink was liquidated pork! 384 00:15:53,160 --> 00:15:55,479 And do you guys have good chemistry? 385 00:15:55,480 --> 00:15:57,759 Oh, as much as any woman and the ghost 386 00:15:57,760 --> 00:15:59,639 of a dead Argos manager can! 387 00:15:59,640 --> 00:16:03,559 You know, he reads me in the catalog after we've made love! 388 00:16:03,560 --> 00:16:06,079 I like the toaster page. 389 00:16:06,080 --> 00:16:07,039 This is perfect. 390 00:16:07,040 --> 00:16:09,039 Let me write this down. 391 00:16:09,040 --> 00:16:09,559 Why? 392 00:16:09,560 --> 00:16:13,519 You're not putting me in your magazine again, are ya? 393 00:16:13,520 --> 00:16:14,679 Oh, my god. 394 00:16:14,680 --> 00:16:15,359 What? 395 00:16:15,360 --> 00:16:16,719 No, no, we'd never do that. 396 00:16:16,720 --> 00:16:18,199 We're just chatting about having 397 00:16:18,200 --> 00:16:21,719 sex with paranormal beings like any group of colleagues do. 398 00:16:21,720 --> 00:16:23,119 You're the office accountant. 399 00:16:23,120 --> 00:16:24,999 You're the funniest person here. 400 00:16:25,000 --> 00:16:28,279 Which reminds me, you had any good celebrity 401 00:16:28,280 --> 00:16:29,759 encounters recently? 402 00:16:29,760 --> 00:16:30,439 No. 403 00:16:30,440 --> 00:16:34,519 Well, not unless you count the Ross Kemp thing. 404 00:16:34,520 --> 00:16:35,359 What's that? 405 00:16:35,360 --> 00:16:38,719 He ran me over four times this morning! 406 00:16:38,720 --> 00:16:39,599 Four? 407 00:16:39,600 --> 00:16:40,679 Yeah, I know! 408 00:16:40,680 --> 00:16:42,239 We was laughing by the third. 409 00:16:42,240 --> 00:16:45,079 He bought me a Twix in The Wild Bean Cafe. 410 00:16:45,080 --> 00:16:48,519 Then he backed over me again in the food court. 411 00:16:48,520 --> 00:16:49,759 Did you get a picture together? 412 00:16:49,760 --> 00:16:55,199 Nah, but he signed my bag in elbow blood. 413 00:16:55,200 --> 00:16:55,880 Oh, nice. 414 00:16:56,000 --> 00:16:57,439 Let me get a snap of that. 415 00:16:57,440 --> 00:16:58,239 Oh, I knew it. 416 00:16:58,240 --> 00:17:00,999 You are putting me in your magazine again. 417 00:17:01,000 --> 00:17:02,319 We're not, Paula. 418 00:17:02,320 --> 00:17:03,319 We never have. 419 00:17:03,320 --> 00:17:04,199 Oh, come off it! 420 00:17:04,200 --> 00:17:06,439 Do you think I was born yesterday? 421 00:17:06,440 --> 00:17:07,679 I saw last month's! 422 00:17:07,680 --> 00:17:11,719 Remember, when I grew an extra mouth after spilling 423 00:17:11,720 --> 00:17:14,279 baby bio on me chin! 424 00:17:14,280 --> 00:17:15,479 Perhaps you forgot about the issue 425 00:17:15,480 --> 00:17:19,079 before, when I went to Turkey and 426 00:17:19,080 --> 00:17:21,079 accidentally married a goat! 427 00:17:21,080 --> 00:17:25,279 You may recall this one, when I had an allergic reaction 428 00:17:25,280 --> 00:17:27,319 to chlorine that made me look exactly 429 00:17:27,320 --> 00:17:29,760 like Anthony Costa from Blue. 430 00:17:29,960 --> 00:17:32,679 I filmed an episode of "Celebrity Tipping Point" 431 00:17:32,680 --> 00:17:33,439 that week. 432 00:17:33,440 --> 00:17:37,079 I won 5,000 for a dolphin charity. 433 00:17:37,080 --> 00:17:40,239 They repeated that episode on ITV Quiz the other night. 434 00:17:40,240 --> 00:17:41,479 You did so good. 435 00:17:41,480 --> 00:17:42,439 Yes! 436 00:17:42,440 --> 00:17:43,199 Thank you! 437 00:17:43,200 --> 00:17:45,639 Judge Rinder's thick as shit, ain't he? 438 00:17:45,640 --> 00:17:47,359 Well, guess what I'm trying to say is-- 439 00:17:47,360 --> 00:17:50,079 You just want to talk to us as colleagues. 440 00:17:50,080 --> 00:17:52,399 Yeah, we respect your privacy and don't put everything 441 00:17:52,400 --> 00:17:55,439 you say in over 300 issues of a magazine. 442 00:17:55,440 --> 00:17:57,759 Or Photoshop you with a bucket of cement 443 00:17:57,760 --> 00:17:58,719 stuck to your foot. 444 00:17:58,720 --> 00:18:01,519 Yeah, exactly! 'Cause if you ask nicely, 445 00:18:01,520 --> 00:18:04,199 I'd let you take a picture! 446 00:18:04,200 --> 00:18:07,199 Sorry, Paula, your life is just mad. 447 00:18:07,200 --> 00:18:07,800 I know. 448 00:18:07,960 --> 00:18:11,399 Not many people have had 47 anal probes! 449 00:18:11,400 --> 00:18:14,519 God knows what those aliens are looking for up there. 450 00:18:14,520 --> 00:18:17,039 But I hope to god they find it! 451 00:18:17,040 --> 00:18:18,719 All right, cup of tea? 452 00:18:18,720 --> 00:18:20,439 Yeah. Cup of tea. 453 00:18:20,440 --> 00:18:21,679 Yeah, that'd be great. 454 00:18:21,680 --> 00:18:24,039 Thanks. 455 00:18:24,040 --> 00:18:25,279 Well, what are we gonna do if we 456 00:18:25,280 --> 00:18:26,359 can't print her stuff anymore? 457 00:18:26,360 --> 00:18:28,599 We're gonna to have to close the magazine down. 458 00:18:28,600 --> 00:18:30,679 I know it means we'll all lose our jobs, 459 00:18:30,680 --> 00:18:33,039 but it's the right thing to do. 460 00:18:33,040 --> 00:18:34,319 Agreed? - Agreed. 461 00:18:34,320 --> 00:18:35,439 - Agreed. - Yeah. 462 00:18:35,440 --> 00:18:37,159 Oh, my God! 463 00:18:37,160 --> 00:18:38,079 Guys! 464 00:18:38,080 --> 00:18:40,599 I've had triplets! 465 00:18:40,600 --> 00:18:42,519 I didn't even know I was pregnant. 466 00:18:45,080 --> 00:18:48,439 Oh, not again. 467 00:18:48,440 --> 00:18:50,639 Sonny, call the printers. 468 00:18:50,640 --> 00:18:52,439 We'll have an issue in an hour! 469 00:18:52,440 --> 00:18:54,159 Beam me up, you bastards. 470 00:18:54,160 --> 00:18:56,639 Let's get this over with. 471 00:19:09,360 --> 00:19:12,119 I can never find anything in this thing. 472 00:19:12,120 --> 00:19:13,079 Been there, girl. 473 00:19:13,080 --> 00:19:15,199 Have you tried a bag organizer? 474 00:19:15,200 --> 00:19:17,039 A bag organizer? 475 00:19:17,040 --> 00:19:17,639 You heard. 476 00:19:17,640 --> 00:19:20,399 With my Ship Shape bag insert, I can find 477 00:19:20,400 --> 00:19:22,439 ú anything at a moment's notice. 478 00:19:22,440 --> 00:19:24,639 Thanks to the Shipú Shape's lightweight feel, 479 00:19:24,640 --> 00:19:27,719 @ structured lining, and 12 handy compartments, 480 00:19:27,720 --> 00:19:30,720 I have my whole life at my fingertips. 481 00:19:33,240 --> 00:19:35,599 That's enough out of you, bitch. 482 00:19:35,600 --> 00:19:38,519 For the woman on the go, bag organizers 483 00:19:38,520 --> 00:19:39,759 are costly and ineffective. 484 00:19:39,760 --> 00:19:42,239 Plus, they make you look like you think you're better 485 00:19:42,240 --> 00:19:44,159 than me, which you're not. 486 00:19:44,160 --> 00:19:50,760 That's why I put my trust in Big Horrid Clump. 487 00:19:51,000 --> 00:19:54,039 Big Horrid Clump is the effortless storage solution 488 00:19:54,040 --> 00:19:55,639 for fun girls, messy girls, girls 489 00:19:55,640 --> 00:19:58,599 with complicated friendship groups, water damaged 490 00:19:58,600 --> 00:20:00,679 passports, and infections. 491 00:20:03,560 --> 00:20:06,079 Since I gave myself over to Big Horrid Clump, 492 00:20:06,080 --> 00:20:11,239 my possessions have never been so in a clump. 493 00:20:11,240 --> 00:20:26,759 What's in my clump? 494 00:20:26,760 --> 00:20:27,679 Who's the daddy? 495 00:20:27,680 --> 00:20:29,279 There's no way of knowing. 496 00:20:29,280 --> 00:20:30,479 It was an orgy. 497 00:20:30,480 --> 00:20:32,679 Oh. 498 00:20:34,400 --> 00:20:36,439 I hope it's yogurt. 499 00:20:36,440 --> 00:20:38,599 It's all in the slump. 500 00:20:38,600 --> 00:20:42,199 Big Horrid Clump is the only bag organization system 501 00:20:42,200 --> 00:20:43,719 that does the work for you. 502 00:20:43,720 --> 00:20:44,800 Got a load of crap? 503 00:20:45,040 --> 00:20:45,639 Got a bag? 504 00:20:45,640 --> 00:20:49,759 Just toss it all in there and let the clump times roll. 505 00:20:49,760 --> 00:20:52,319 But doesn't that ultimately make your life harder? 506 00:20:52,320 --> 00:20:53,799 Yeah, what if you need something 507 00:20:53,800 --> 00:20:55,199 from inside the clump? 508 00:20:55,200 --> 00:20:56,199 What then? 509 00:20:56,200 --> 00:20:57,199 I don't know. 510 00:21:03,760 --> 00:21:05,759 I don't know. 511 00:21:05,760 --> 00:21:10,279 Big Horrid Clump. 512 00:21:10,280 --> 00:21:15,079 It is big, it is horrid, and it is a clump. 513 00:21:15,080 --> 00:21:18,039 We don't know why we do it or how to stop it, 514 00:21:18,040 --> 00:21:19,759 but if we start tugging at that thread-- 515 00:21:19,760 --> 00:21:22,759 We're terrified of the hell we'll unleash. 516 00:21:24,560 --> 00:21:26,119 Something bit me. 517 00:21:26,120 --> 00:21:27,479 No. 518 00:21:27,480 --> 00:21:28,359 Oh, no! 519 00:21:29,320 --> 00:21:31,519 This is where the plague started! 520 00:22:04,760 --> 00:22:05,760 Hello, I'm Darcey Grip. 521 00:22:06,000 --> 00:22:08,039 And I'm Zoe Boast, and welcome back 522 00:22:08,040 --> 00:22:09,239 ú to QVC's The Jewelry Store. 523 00:22:09,240 --> 00:22:12,599 Today, we're delighted to be joined by our brand ambassador 524 00:22:12,600 --> 00:22:15,279 for sparkle gems, Kirsty Frap. 525 00:22:15,280 --> 00:22:16,439 How are you, Kirsty? 526 00:22:16,440 --> 00:22:17,239 I'm good. 527 00:22:17,240 --> 00:22:19,079 It's so lovely to be back, ladies. 528 00:22:19,080 --> 00:22:20,719 Oh, it's lovely to have you back. 529 00:22:20,720 --> 00:22:21,599 We've missed you. 530 00:22:21,600 --> 00:22:23,079 Oh, well, it's actually because I've 531 00:22:23,080 --> 00:22:25,199 @ had a few personal issues which have kept me away. 532 00:22:25,200 --> 00:22:27,159 - I'm sorry to hear that. - That's OK. 533 00:22:27,160 --> 00:22:28,399 Oh, I hope everything's all right. 534 00:22:28,400 --> 00:22:33,079 It really is, and I'm so excited to be here today 535 00:22:33,080 --> 00:22:37,239 to show off this fabulous new collection of gemstone 536 00:22:37,240 --> 00:22:38,039 stacking rings. 537 00:22:38,040 --> 00:22:39,399 I'm just looking at these pieces, Kirsty, 538 00:22:39,400 --> 00:22:41,439 and I'm just thinking they are simply stunning. 539 00:22:41,440 --> 00:22:42,719 I'm thinking the exact same thing, Zoe. 540 00:22:42,720 --> 00:22:45,559 @ I'm looking at-- and just thinking, how gorgeous. 541 00:22:45,560 --> 00:22:46,479 Absolutely. 542 00:22:46,480 --> 00:22:47,800 That's it, ladies. 543 00:22:48,040 --> 00:22:48,639 That's it. 544 00:22:48,640 --> 00:22:50,079 And if we take a closer look, you 545 00:22:50,080 --> 00:22:54,439 can see that these stacking rings just-- 546 00:22:54,440 --> 00:23:03,039 encapsulate the glittering prestige at the heart 547 00:23:03,040 --> 00:23:05,479 of the Le Sparkle brand. 548 00:23:05,480 --> 00:23:07,439 That really is a beautiful piece. 549 00:23:07,440 --> 00:23:09,399 - What's wrong with your-- - Hey. 550 00:23:09,400 --> 00:23:11,519 What's-- 551 00:23:11,520 --> 00:23:12,279 Now is-- 552 00:23:12,280 --> 00:23:13,479 What's wrong with my what? 553 00:23:13,480 --> 00:23:15,359 Now, is that gemstone sapphire? 554 00:23:15,360 --> 00:23:17,599 Yeah, it's actually tanzanite. 555 00:23:17,600 --> 00:23:18,439 Tanzanite. 556 00:23:18,440 --> 00:23:20,159 Yeah, it's tanzanite. 557 00:23:20,160 --> 00:23:23,559 And you can just see it twinkle there. 558 00:23:23,560 --> 00:23:24,399 I love-- 559 00:23:24,400 --> 00:23:25,759 I love a stacking ring. 560 00:23:25,760 --> 00:23:27,079 Why is it so long? 561 00:23:27,080 --> 00:23:28,759 The finger-- 562 00:23:28,760 --> 00:23:29,719 I'm so sorry. 563 00:23:29,720 --> 00:23:32,639 It grew, OK? 564 00:23:32,640 --> 00:23:33,319 It grew. 565 00:23:33,320 --> 00:23:38,359 That's the personal issue that I've been dealing with. 566 00:23:38,360 --> 00:23:40,399 Now it's taken me a lot of courage 567 00:23:40,400 --> 00:23:44,479 to come back here and do this job, but I'm here, 568 00:23:44,480 --> 00:23:47,399 and I'm doing it. - Have you been to the doctor? 569 00:23:47,400 --> 00:23:52,479 No. 570 00:23:52,480 --> 00:23:53,719 Not yet. 571 00:23:53,720 --> 00:23:55,319 Why-- And that's because I've moved 572 00:23:55,320 --> 00:24:00,319 house because of the rats, so I need to register with a new GP. 573 00:24:00,320 --> 00:24:03,519 It's a whole thing. 574 00:24:03,520 --> 00:24:04,159 Anyway-- 575 00:24:04,160 --> 00:24:05,759 Sorry, Kirsty, as you were saying. 576 00:24:05,760 --> 00:24:07,519 Anyway. 577 00:24:07,520 --> 00:24:08,479 It's OK. 578 00:24:08,480 --> 00:24:09,359 It's all right. 579 00:24:09,360 --> 00:24:11,399 So I'd like to now show you some 580 00:24:11,400 --> 00:24:15,439 of these breathtaking pieces from the new summer 581 00:24:15,440 --> 00:24:16,439 collection, OK? 582 00:24:16,440 --> 00:24:21,199 Now the detail on these is simply stunning. 583 00:24:21,200 --> 00:24:22,239 Oh, my God. 584 00:24:22,240 --> 00:24:23,039 Jesus Christ. 585 00:24:23,040 --> 00:24:25,599 They are-- they're beautiful pieces. 586 00:24:25,600 --> 00:24:28,199 Oh, my God. 587 00:24:28,200 --> 00:24:29,639 What's wrong with that hand? 588 00:24:29,640 --> 00:24:30,479 I don't know. 589 00:24:30,480 --> 00:24:32,519 What do you mean, you don't know? 590 00:24:32,520 --> 00:24:35,359 Sorry, I don't know. 591 00:24:35,360 --> 00:24:37,719 So with this hand, yes. 592 00:24:37,720 --> 00:24:39,239 Yes, I was aware. 593 00:24:39,240 --> 00:24:42,519 This one, no. 594 00:24:42,520 --> 00:24:44,159 Should I call 111? 595 00:24:44,160 --> 00:24:47,199 Yes, please. 596 00:24:47,200 --> 00:24:47,759 Right. 597 00:24:47,760 --> 00:24:49,199 Now what-- what was I saying? 598 00:24:49,200 --> 00:24:52,359 Um, so I think the detail is just stunning. 599 00:24:52,360 --> 00:24:53,239 Yeah, that's it. 600 00:24:53,240 --> 00:25:00,240 The detail-- the detail is simply stunning. 601 00:25:00,720 --> 00:25:04,719 What is wrong with my fucking hand? 602 00:25:04,720 --> 00:25:06,439 Yeah, the detail is unbelievable. 603 00:25:06,440 --> 00:25:11,319 And-- and this can now be yours for an incredible-- well, 604 00:25:11,320 --> 00:25:13,359 ú it's 2 pounds now, plus-- 605 00:25:13,360 --> 00:25:15,759 ú plus-- it's a great price. 606 00:25:15,760 --> 00:25:17,399 ú - I don't have any signal. 607 00:25:17,400 --> 00:25:18,199 That's OK. 608 00:25:18,200 --> 00:25:21,159 I think I'm losing consciousness now. 609 00:25:21,160 --> 00:25:24,999 Oh, well, thank you so much for dropping by, Kirsty. 610 00:25:25,000 --> 00:25:26,679 Hopefully we won't have to wait too long 611 00:25:26,680 --> 00:25:27,679 till we see you next time. 612 00:25:27,680 --> 00:25:30,159 I reckon it's going to be another big gap 613 00:25:30,160 --> 00:25:31,679 ú before we ever see her again. 614 00:25:31,680 --> 00:25:33,159 Oh, it will, won't it? 615 00:25:33,160 --> 00:25:33,679 Yeah. 616 00:25:33,680 --> 00:25:34,719 So join us after the break. 617 00:25:34,720 --> 00:25:37,479 We'll be attempting to flog you a neck Jacuzzi. 618 00:25:37,480 --> 00:25:38,319 That's right. 619 00:25:38,320 --> 00:25:41,039 It's a Jacuzzi for your neck, and it ain't cheap. 620 00:25:41,040 --> 00:25:42,079 See you in a mo. 621 00:25:57,240 --> 00:26:00,439 Ladies and gentlemen, Foo Fighters. 622 00:26:06,120 --> 00:26:12,319 ♪ Do I? ♪ ♪ Do I? ♪ 623 00:26:12,320 --> 00:26:15,039 ♪ Here comes a test ♪ 624 00:26:15,040 --> 00:26:18,639 ♪ Of a broken broadcast system ♪ 625 00:26:18,640 --> 00:26:22,199 ♪ Consider this an evaluation ♪ 626 00:26:22,200 --> 00:26:24,999 ♪ Of my hallucinations ♪ 627 00:26:25,000 --> 00:26:28,359 ♪ But this is not a jest ♪ 628 00:26:28,360 --> 00:26:31,199 ♪ This is a conversation ♪ 629 00:26:31,200 --> 00:26:34,559 ♪ I got another proposition ♪ 630 00:26:34,560 --> 00:26:40,519 ♪ Only under one condition ♪ 631 00:26:40,520 --> 00:26:46,519 ♪ I got caught in the echo again ♪ 632 00:26:46,520 --> 00:26:52,639 ♪ From side to side to side to side ♪ 633 00:26:52,640 --> 00:26:58,800 ♪ I've been caught in the echo again ♪ 634 00:26:59,000 --> 00:27:05,119 ♪ Decide decide decide decide ♪ 635 00:27:05,120 --> 00:27:06,479 ♪ Do I? ♪ ♪ Do I? ♪ 636 00:27:06,480 --> 00:27:08,679 ♪ Do I? ♪ 637 00:27:08,680 --> 00:27:11,639 ♪ Here comes the crash ♪ 638 00:27:11,640 --> 00:27:15,039 ♪ I'm moving in two directions ♪ 639 00:27:15,040 --> 00:27:18,079 ♪ I move in conversation ♪ 640 00:27:18,080 --> 00:27:21,279 ♪ Waiting for intersection ♪ 641 00:27:21,280 --> 00:27:24,159 ♪ I wanna take it back ♪ 642 00:27:24,160 --> 00:27:27,159 ♪ Nobody here is truly free ♪ 643 00:27:27,160 --> 00:27:30,679 ♪ Consider this an emancipation ♪ 644 00:27:30,680 --> 00:27:34,759 ♪ From all of my confusion ♪ 645 00:27:36,640 --> 00:27:42,639 ♪ I've been caught in the echo again ♪ 646 00:27:42,640 --> 00:27:48,679 ♪ From side to side to side to side ♪ 647 00:27:48,680 --> 00:27:54,599 ♪ I've been caught in the echo again ♪ 648 00:27:54,600 --> 00:27:58,439 ♪ From side to side to side to side ♪ 649 00:27:58,440 --> 00:27:59,760 ♪ Do I? ♪ ♪ Do I? ♪ 650 00:27:59,960 --> 00:28:03,159 ♪ Do I? ♪ ♪ Do I? ♪ 651 00:28:03,160 --> 00:28:06,399 ♪ I've been caught in the echo ♪ 652 00:28:09,360 --> 00:28:13,359 ♪ Sometimes you just gotta let go ♪ 653 00:28:34,960 --> 00:28:38,039 ♪ Some things you can't divide ♪ 654 00:28:38,040 --> 00:28:41,439 ♪ Some things you can't define ♪ 655 00:28:41,440 --> 00:28:45,239 ♪ Sometimes you can't decide ♪ 656 00:28:45,240 --> 00:28:47,759 ♪ Do I? ♪ 657 00:28:47,760 --> 00:28:51,239 ♪ Some things you can't divide ♪ 658 00:28:51,240 --> 00:28:54,679 ♪ Some things you can't define ♪ 659 00:28:54,680 --> 00:28:58,399 ♪ Sometimes you can't decide ♪ 660 00:28:58,400 --> 00:29:01,119 ♪ Do I? ♪ 661 00:29:01,120 --> 00:29:04,279 ♪ Some things you can't divide ♪ 662 00:29:04,280 --> 00:29:07,559 ♪ Some things you can't define ♪ 663 00:29:07,560 --> 00:29:11,359 ♪ Sometimes you can't decide ♪ 664 00:29:11,360 --> 00:29:14,039 ♪ Do I? ♪ 665 00:29:14,040 --> 00:29:17,199 ♪ Some things you can't divide ♪ 666 00:29:17,200 --> 00:29:20,599 ♪ Some things you can't define ♪ 667 00:29:20,600 --> 00:29:24,359 ♪ Sometimes you can't decide ♪ 668 00:29:24,360 --> 00:29:25,720 ♪ Do I? ♪ 669 00:29:25,960 --> 00:29:28,439 ♪ Do I? ♪ 670 00:29:51,320 --> 00:29:54,439 ♪ Some things you can't divide ♪ 671 00:29:54,440 --> 00:29:57,639 ♪ Some things you can't define ♪ 672 00:29:57,640 --> 00:30:01,159 ♪ Sometimes you can't decide ♪ 673 00:30:01,160 --> 00:30:03,599 ♪ Do I? ♪ 674 00:30:03,600 --> 00:30:06,639 ♪ Some things you can't divide ♪ 675 00:30:06,640 --> 00:30:09,760 ♪ Some things you can't define ♪ 676 00:30:10,000 --> 00:30:13,359 ♪ Sometimes you can't decide ♪ 677 00:30:13,360 --> 00:30:18,239 ♪ Do I? ♪ 678 00:30:45,120 --> 00:30:52,519 It's Weekend Update with Ania Magliano and Paddy Young. 679 00:30:59,120 --> 00:31:00,239 Good evening! 680 00:31:00,240 --> 00:31:02,239 And welcome to Weekend Update. 681 00:31:02,240 --> 00:31:03,119 I'm Paddy Young. 682 00:31:03,120 --> 00:31:05,119 And I'm Ania Magliano. 683 00:31:06,720 --> 00:31:08,519 This week, the scandal surrounding the vetting 684 00:31:08,520 --> 00:31:13,639 of Peter Mandelson, seen here repurposing his gimp leash, 685 00:31:13,640 --> 00:31:16,159 has engulfed prime Minister Keir Starmer. 686 00:31:16,160 --> 00:31:19,319 Starmer and Mandelson-- it's the age old story of man 687 00:31:19,320 --> 00:31:24,519 meets man, man meets pedophile, pedophile meets pedophile meets 688 00:31:24,520 --> 00:31:26,599 pedophile meets pedophile. 689 00:31:26,600 --> 00:31:28,759 Man doesn't vet man properly. 690 00:31:28,760 --> 00:31:30,039 Man has to resign. 691 00:31:30,040 --> 00:31:31,239 Other man ought to resign. 692 00:31:31,240 --> 00:31:35,599 Main pedophile still secretly alive in Tel Aviv. 693 00:31:35,600 --> 00:31:37,639 It's a tale as old as time. 694 00:31:37,640 --> 00:31:38,679 And it's hard for Starmer. 695 00:31:38,680 --> 00:31:41,519 Imagine knowing your colleague is a massive creep, 696 00:31:41,520 --> 00:31:43,479 but you continue working with him anyway 697 00:31:43,480 --> 00:31:44,800 so you can keep your career. 698 00:31:45,040 --> 00:31:51,559 We call it the Matt Lucas dilemma. 699 00:31:51,560 --> 00:31:54,159 As a result of the Mandelson fallout, 700 00:31:54,160 --> 00:31:58,439 civil servant Olly Robbins has been sacked. 701 00:31:58,440 --> 00:32:00,359 No! 702 00:32:00,360 --> 00:32:01,719 Not Olly Robbins. 703 00:32:01,720 --> 00:32:05,119 Sir Oliver Robbins, permanent under-secretary 704 00:32:05,120 --> 00:32:06,399 of state for foreign, commonwealth and 705 00:32:06,400 --> 00:32:10,760 developmental affairs in the United Kingdom! 706 00:32:11,000 --> 00:32:13,319 Who's that? 707 00:32:13,320 --> 00:32:15,479 Yep, the mood is now so low in number 10 708 00:32:15,480 --> 00:32:19,119 that Starmer has resorted to confidence building exercises. 709 00:32:19,120 --> 00:32:20,759 You know the one where you stand on a chair full 710 00:32:20,760 --> 00:32:29,039 backwards with your eyes closed and just hope the noose holds. 711 00:32:29,040 --> 00:32:30,319 All this comes after allegations 712 00:32:30,320 --> 00:32:33,359 that Peter Mandelson leaked secrets to a pedophile. 713 00:32:33,360 --> 00:32:36,799 But what we're forgetting is that pedophiles are famously 714 00:32:36,800 --> 00:32:39,399 good at keeping secrets. 715 00:32:39,400 --> 00:32:41,479 It's their whole thing. 716 00:32:41,480 --> 00:32:47,079 Well, not their whole thing. 717 00:32:47,080 --> 00:32:48,799 Donald Trump has yet again extended 718 00:32:48,800 --> 00:32:51,799 the ceasefire with Iran until peace talks conclude. 719 00:32:51,800 --> 00:32:54,639 It's the third time this month that he has backed off 720 00:32:54,640 --> 00:32:56,199 from escalating the conflict. 721 00:32:56,200 --> 00:32:57,559 Well, at least after being on the cusp 722 00:32:57,560 --> 00:33:01,759 of nuclear war so many times, when it finally comes, 723 00:33:01,760 --> 00:33:05,079 it's going to feel amazing. 724 00:33:05,080 --> 00:33:07,599 The Iran war has caused the price of condoms 725 00:33:07,600 --> 00:33:11,999 to go up by 30% due to global trade issues. 726 00:33:12,000 --> 00:33:12,599 Oh, good. 727 00:33:12,600 --> 00:33:14,319 I can't wait to hear the phrase, 728 00:33:14,320 --> 00:33:16,439 sorry babe, I actually can't wear one, 729 00:33:16,440 --> 00:33:20,279 it's the Strait of Hormuz. 730 00:33:20,280 --> 00:33:22,279 I don't mind there being a condom shortage 731 00:33:22,280 --> 00:33:30,479 because I have a penis shortage. 732 00:33:30,480 --> 00:33:32,439 In a video celebrating what would have been Queen 733 00:33:32,440 --> 00:33:36,319 Elizabeth's 100th birthday, King Charles said that his late 734 00:33:36,320 --> 00:33:38,079 mother would have been deeply troubled by much 735 00:33:38,080 --> 00:33:45,719 in the modern world, because in the modern world, she's dead. 736 00:33:45,720 --> 00:33:48,799 In the video, Charles celebrated his mother's legacy, 737 00:33:48,800 --> 00:33:52,159 and we can all agree, the queen was a figure of courage and 738 00:33:52,160 --> 00:33:53,800 dignity right up until the end, when 739 00:33:54,040 --> 00:33:59,519 Paddington Bear, Death's tiny henchman, came to collect her. 740 00:33:59,520 --> 00:34:03,119 The Peruvian king of the underworld offered her his paw 741 00:34:03,120 --> 00:34:05,719 and escorted her to heaven, where they reigned 742 00:34:05,720 --> 00:34:08,159 together for all eternity. 743 00:34:08,160 --> 00:34:11,079 Happy birthday, Mom. 744 00:34:11,080 --> 00:34:12,759 This week, former entertainer and 745 00:34:12,760 --> 00:34:16,679 entertainer of sick formers, Russell Brand, 746 00:34:16,680 --> 00:34:19,439 has announced he's running for London mayor. 747 00:34:19,440 --> 00:34:22,719 And the London mayor is running away. 748 00:34:22,720 --> 00:34:24,399 As part of his publicity drive, 749 00:34:24,400 --> 00:34:27,079 Russell Brand was interviewed by Piers Morgan 750 00:34:27,080 --> 00:34:29,599 yesterday in a show I'm affectionately 751 00:34:29,600 --> 00:34:35,279 calling Women's Suicide Hour. 752 00:34:35,280 --> 00:34:38,519 The NHS is under fire again, with Wes Streeting 753 00:34:38,520 --> 00:34:41,359 commenting that female patients feel ignored. 754 00:34:41,360 --> 00:34:43,319 Here to comment on the NHS endemic failure 755 00:34:43,320 --> 00:34:47,399 in listening to women is the woman who can't be ignored! 756 00:34:49,520 --> 00:34:53,199 I am the woman who can't be ignored. 757 00:34:53,200 --> 00:34:53,799 Don't. 758 00:34:53,800 --> 00:34:54,719 Don't even try it. 759 00:34:54,720 --> 00:34:56,599 You, don't. Come on, boy. 760 00:34:56,600 --> 00:34:57,599 Don't look away. 761 00:34:57,600 --> 00:34:58,599 Don't do it. 762 00:34:58,600 --> 00:34:59,639 Don't do it! 763 00:34:59,640 --> 00:35:01,279 Sorry, what was your name? 764 00:35:01,280 --> 00:35:06,079 Jenny Hesselbo. 765 00:35:06,080 --> 00:35:07,399 Hi, Jenny. Oh, wow. 766 00:35:07,400 --> 00:35:08,719 You really can't be ignored. 767 00:35:08,720 --> 00:35:09,559 I know, babe. 768 00:35:09,560 --> 00:35:11,679 ♪ The minute I walk in the joint, da-da ♪ 769 00:35:11,680 --> 00:35:15,519 Now, I don't know the rest of the words, 770 00:35:15,520 --> 00:35:18,159 but you try ignoring that intro. 771 00:35:18,160 --> 00:35:20,079 It's electric. 772 00:35:20,080 --> 00:35:23,199 How would you advise other women to not be ignored? 773 00:35:23,200 --> 00:35:23,759 Right. 774 00:35:23,760 --> 00:35:26,599 Big hats and loud farts. 775 00:35:26,600 --> 00:35:27,719 Then own up to these farts. 776 00:35:27,720 --> 00:35:33,599 You say, don't look at him, it was me, I made the fart. 777 00:35:33,600 --> 00:35:35,479 And so when it comes to the NHS, 778 00:35:35,480 --> 00:35:38,039 how do you get a doctor to really listen to you? 779 00:35:38,040 --> 00:35:38,679 Yeah, yeah. 780 00:35:38,680 --> 00:35:41,599 So, Paddy, when I go to the GP, I knock on the doctor's door, 781 00:35:41,600 --> 00:35:43,719 tappity tap, tap, tap, tap. 782 00:35:43,720 --> 00:35:44,519 Unusual rhythm. 783 00:35:44,520 --> 00:35:47,119 Their interest is piqued. 784 00:35:47,120 --> 00:35:50,759 Then I enter the room like this, I go, right. 785 00:35:50,760 --> 00:35:54,599 And I look the doctor square in the eyes and I say, what's up, 786 00:35:54,600 --> 00:35:58,199 doc, 'cause this is looking absolutely insane. 787 00:35:58,200 --> 00:36:00,720 Then I whip my pants off, or maybe I get my foot out 788 00:36:00,960 --> 00:36:03,399 and I say, look at this, you git. 789 00:36:03,400 --> 00:36:08,239 Or, or, perhaps I'll dance around in my knickknacks 790 00:36:08,240 --> 00:36:10,439 and I'll say, oh, doctor, it burns, 791 00:36:10,440 --> 00:36:12,719 you know, something exciting. 792 00:36:12,720 --> 00:36:16,519 Then I say, write me a prescription, you quack! 793 00:36:16,520 --> 00:36:20,599 I bloody dare you, you bastard. 794 00:36:20,600 --> 00:36:21,559 And does that work? 795 00:36:21,560 --> 00:36:24,079 Well, they write me a prescription for something, 796 00:36:24,080 --> 00:36:25,039 if you get my driftle. 797 00:36:25,040 --> 00:36:26,599 ♪ Don't tell me how to live ♪ 798 00:36:26,600 --> 00:36:28,199 ♪ Just sit and putter ♪ 799 00:36:28,200 --> 00:36:30,599 Hey, hey. 800 00:36:30,600 --> 00:36:31,239 Hey. 801 00:36:31,240 --> 00:36:34,319 The point is this, right? 802 00:36:34,320 --> 00:36:37,399 I am the-- the point is this-- 803 00:36:37,400 --> 00:36:41,479 I am the woman who the NHS cannot ignore. 804 00:36:41,480 --> 00:36:42,159 Jenny? 805 00:36:42,160 --> 00:36:43,439 ♪ What now, my love! ♪ 806 00:36:43,440 --> 00:36:46,439 Jenny, do you think maybe the fact 807 00:36:46,440 --> 00:36:50,319 you're a middle class white woman helps you not be ignored? 808 00:36:50,320 --> 00:36:53,079 Yeah, it will also be that. 809 00:36:53,080 --> 00:36:54,439 Jenny, we've run out of time. 810 00:36:54,440 --> 00:36:55,399 Paddy, Paddy listen. 811 00:36:55,400 --> 00:36:56,519 ♪ This is a man's world ♪ 812 00:36:56,520 --> 00:37:01,239 ♪ But it'd be nothing without a woman or a girl ♪ 813 00:37:01,240 --> 00:37:01,719 Whoa. 814 00:37:01,720 --> 00:37:05,239 Jenny Hesselbo, the woman who can't be ignored, everybody. 815 00:37:18,280 --> 00:37:19,720 The new Michael Jackson biopic 816 00:37:19,960 --> 00:37:22,119 has been released in cinemas nationwide. 817 00:37:22,120 --> 00:37:28,279 It's the first ever film to be rated 12 and under. 818 00:37:28,280 --> 00:37:30,479 The intended third act of the Jackson biopic, 819 00:37:30,480 --> 00:37:33,239 which was to depict the sexual abuse allegations, 820 00:37:33,240 --> 00:37:35,239 has been scrapped for legal reasons, 821 00:37:35,240 --> 00:37:38,559 leaving something short and underdeveloped. 822 00:37:38,560 --> 00:37:44,239 It's what he would have wanted. 823 00:37:44,240 --> 00:37:45,719 Kasha Sanderson of Bristol, has 824 00:37:45,720 --> 00:37:49,479 been jailed for nine years for smuggling military grade 825 00:37:49,480 --> 00:37:51,599 weapons and class A drugs into the UK. 826 00:37:51,600 --> 00:37:55,079 Officers searched her car and found three submachine guns, 827 00:37:55,080 --> 00:38:00,119 a Glock handgun, 9 pistols, 289 rounds of ammunition, 828 00:38:00,120 --> 00:38:02,719 and 5 kilograms of heroin with a street value 829 00:38:02,720 --> 00:38:06,599 of half a million pounds, making Kasha Sanderson 830 00:38:06,600 --> 00:38:09,720 my Woman of the Week. 831 00:38:09,960 --> 00:38:13,599 Tomorrow is the London Marathon, in which 60,000 832 00:38:13,600 --> 00:38:14,719 runners are set to compete. 833 00:38:14,720 --> 00:38:16,719 Here to talk about it is a man who's 834 00:38:16,720 --> 00:38:19,199 running the London Marathon! 835 00:38:21,360 --> 00:38:22,439 Can't stop. 836 00:38:22,440 --> 00:38:24,319 On mile 9. 837 00:38:24,320 --> 00:38:27,719 A man who's running the London Marathon, everybody! 838 00:38:31,680 --> 00:38:34,439 Disgraced TV chef Gregg Wallace has announced 839 00:38:34,440 --> 00:38:35,479 that he's moving to Italy. 840 00:38:35,480 --> 00:38:38,519 It's thought he chose Italy because it's the only country 841 00:38:38,520 --> 00:38:41,479 shaped like a woman's leg. 842 00:38:41,480 --> 00:38:44,399 Once he is integrated into the local community, 843 00:38:44,400 --> 00:38:47,279 Wallace will go by his new Italian name 844 00:38:47,280 --> 00:38:51,559 "Gregori Sexipesti! 845 00:38:51,560 --> 00:38:52,760 Ellen DeGeneres' building plans 846 00:38:53,000 --> 00:38:56,079 for stables at her 22 pound million home in the Cotswolds 847 00:38:56,080 --> 00:38:59,959 could be at risk over fears of how close the proposed site 848 00:38:59,960 --> 00:39:01,479 is to sacred Roman relics. 849 00:39:01,480 --> 00:39:06,559 Fragile, ancient, and strangely haunting, Ellen DeGeneres 850 00:39:06,560 --> 00:39:10,479 moved to the UK in 2024. 851 00:39:10,480 --> 00:39:14,559 This week, Meghan Markle headlined a woman-only 852 00:39:14,560 --> 00:39:15,559 retreat in Australia. 853 00:39:15,560 --> 00:39:18,479 It featured sound healing and a manifestation session 854 00:39:18,480 --> 00:39:21,679 where women were encouraged to be their best selves. 855 00:39:21,680 --> 00:39:24,039 Tickets cost around 2,000 pounds. 856 00:39:24,040 --> 00:39:25,239 And I was sad I couldn't go. 857 00:39:25,240 --> 00:39:26,639 The event would have been perfect for me, 858 00:39:26,640 --> 00:39:33,159 since I'm a woman and I'm also a fucking idiot. 859 00:39:33,160 --> 00:39:35,319 It's been announced that mobile phones are 860 00:39:35,320 --> 00:39:39,119 set to be banned in schools, which means sadly, now, 861 00:39:39,120 --> 00:39:40,439 many PE teachers will have to print 862 00:39:40,440 --> 00:39:45,079 off pictures of their penis to send to students. 863 00:39:45,080 --> 00:39:46,760 Tsunami waves hit Japan this week 864 00:39:47,000 --> 00:39:49,479 after a powerful earthquake struck 865 00:39:49,480 --> 00:39:51,039 the country's Northern Coast. 866 00:39:51,040 --> 00:39:53,279 Scientists are unsure of the exact cause. 867 00:39:53,280 --> 00:39:56,239 But initial reports suggest it's because your mum 868 00:39:56,240 --> 00:40:00,759 sat down there. 869 00:40:00,760 --> 00:40:02,159 An American big game hunter has 870 00:40:02,160 --> 00:40:05,759 been crushed to death by a herd of elephants in Central Africa. 871 00:40:05,760 --> 00:40:08,159 Medics on the scene did what they could. 872 00:40:08,160 --> 00:40:10,759 But sadly, after seven hours of trying, 873 00:40:10,760 --> 00:40:14,079 they just couldn't stop laughing. 874 00:40:14,080 --> 00:40:15,559 His body has been taken back to his family, 875 00:40:15,560 --> 00:40:22,319 where he was laid to rest in the center of the living room. 876 00:40:22,320 --> 00:40:24,359 And now, it may seem like Britain 877 00:40:24,360 --> 00:40:27,079 and the United States have drifted apart, 878 00:40:27,080 --> 00:40:28,799 the special relationship is in trouble, 879 00:40:28,800 --> 00:40:31,800 and something's happening with the Falklands. 880 00:40:32,040 --> 00:40:33,599 I don't know what that is. 881 00:40:33,600 --> 00:40:35,439 We could just keep making jokes about it. 882 00:40:35,440 --> 00:40:40,279 But first, we do want to check, are you OK? 883 00:40:41,600 --> 00:40:44,759 This is Hand in Hand-- 884 00:40:44,760 --> 00:40:50,159 in Hand with Ania, Paddy, and Jimmy. 885 00:40:51,080 --> 00:40:53,759 Our American friend and Weekend Update legend, 886 00:40:53,760 --> 00:40:54,799 Jimmy Fallon-- 887 00:40:54,800 --> 00:40:55,599 That's me. 888 00:40:55,600 --> 00:40:58,159 is here to bring our countries back together. 889 00:40:58,160 --> 00:41:00,239 Jimmy, we saw you from across the bar 890 00:41:00,240 --> 00:41:01,519 and we really dig your vibe. 891 00:41:01,520 --> 00:41:05,559 We're just two hosts sat next to a more famous host asking 892 00:41:05,560 --> 00:41:07,760 him to boost our ratings. 893 00:41:13,480 --> 00:41:16,359 Thanks, Paddy, or Ania. 894 00:41:17,720 --> 00:41:19,599 Look, Jimmy, I know America's been 895 00:41:19,600 --> 00:41:21,399 seeing a lot of other countries, 896 00:41:21,400 --> 00:41:23,199 but we were your first love. 897 00:41:23,200 --> 00:41:25,079 We've given each other so much. 898 00:41:25,080 --> 00:41:26,159 We gave you Harry Styles. 899 00:41:26,160 --> 00:41:31,239 Yeah, we took your Harry Styles and made Benson Boone. 900 00:41:31,240 --> 00:41:32,679 Our one flips. 901 00:41:32,680 --> 00:41:34,800 And sure we might not speak the same language, 902 00:41:35,040 --> 00:41:41,199 but with a bit of effort, you could learn English. 903 00:41:41,200 --> 00:41:42,639 And you guys could learn to floss. 904 00:41:42,640 --> 00:41:44,799 Whoa, steady on there, Jimmy, lad! 905 00:41:44,800 --> 00:41:46,599 I don't think so. 906 00:41:46,600 --> 00:41:47,719 But we still get each other. 907 00:41:47,720 --> 00:41:49,199 I mean, Paddy, you do a great Trump. 908 00:41:49,200 --> 00:41:50,799 And Jimmy, you 909 00:41:50,800 --> 00:41:52,439 do the greatest Mick Jagger. 910 00:41:52,440 --> 00:41:54,599 ♪ - (IMITATING MICK JAGGER) 911 00:41:54,600 --> 00:41:55,599 ♪ Start it up ♪ 912 00:41:55,600 --> 00:41:58,159 ♪ Stop it you ♪ 913 00:41:58,160 --> 00:41:59,799 And I can do a duck. 914 00:42:00,640 --> 00:42:02,639 - Nice! - Nice. 915 00:42:02,640 --> 00:42:03,319 Yeah. 916 00:42:03,320 --> 00:42:06,199 Sure merging our cultures has gone badly in the past. 917 00:42:06,200 --> 00:42:09,639 Look at Lily Allen's marriage. 918 00:42:09,640 --> 00:42:11,119 Sometimes it goes well. 919 00:42:11,120 --> 00:42:13,119 Look at Lily Allen's album. 920 00:42:13,120 --> 00:42:14,760 And yes, we may say things differently, 921 00:42:15,000 --> 00:42:17,519 but they mean the same thing, like "alu-mi-num." 922 00:42:17,520 --> 00:42:19,679 - "Alu-mi-ni-yum." - Parking lot. 923 00:42:19,680 --> 00:42:20,719 Car park. 924 00:42:20,720 --> 00:42:21,719 Epstein. 925 00:42:21,720 --> 00:42:23,760 Andrew. 926 00:42:24,000 --> 00:42:24,759 Epstein. 927 00:42:24,760 --> 00:42:26,639 Mandelson. 928 00:42:26,640 --> 00:42:27,519 Epstein. 929 00:42:27,520 --> 00:42:29,319 Stephen Hawking. 930 00:42:29,320 --> 00:42:31,079 Stephen Hawking was there? 931 00:42:31,080 --> 00:42:33,559 Stephen Hawking was there. 932 00:42:33,560 --> 00:42:36,039 On July the 4th, you celebrate leaving us. 933 00:42:36,040 --> 00:42:40,039 But from this day forward, April the 25th will henceforth 934 00:42:40,040 --> 00:42:42,239 be known as Co-dependence Day. 935 00:42:42,240 --> 00:42:50,599 Take that, World Malaria Day! 936 00:42:50,600 --> 00:42:52,159 Yeah, suck it, Malaria! 937 00:42:52,160 --> 00:42:53,159 Tell them, Jimmy. 938 00:42:53,160 --> 00:42:55,639 So let's celebrate our nations. 939 00:42:55,640 --> 00:42:56,599 For Britain! 940 00:42:56,600 --> 00:42:57,719 For America! 941 00:42:58,520 --> 00:43:00,319 For Weekend Update, I'm Paddy Young! 942 00:43:00,320 --> 00:43:01,439 And I'm Ania Magliano! 943 00:43:01,440 --> 00:43:02,999 And I'm Jimmy Fallon! 944 00:43:03,000 --> 00:43:05,719 Good night! 945 00:43:39,480 --> 00:43:41,799 Ladies and gentlemen, if I could have your 946 00:43:41,800 --> 00:43:42,799 attention, please. 947 00:43:42,800 --> 00:43:44,199 I wish we would have better news, 948 00:43:44,200 --> 00:43:47,800 but our pilots have fallen unconscious. 949 00:43:48,640 --> 00:43:50,399 So please, please remain calm. 950 00:43:50,400 --> 00:43:52,800 Now, I have to ask, does anyone on board 951 00:43:53,040 --> 00:43:56,399 have a valid pilot's license? 952 00:43:56,400 --> 00:44:04,479 In that case, does anyone here think they can land a plane? 953 00:44:04,480 --> 00:44:05,639 Yeah, I can. 954 00:44:05,640 --> 00:44:06,359 Right. 955 00:44:06,360 --> 00:44:09,159 So that is all the men. 956 00:44:09,160 --> 00:44:11,359 Sorry, another question, have any of you 957 00:44:11,360 --> 00:44:17,519 done anything even remotely similar to landing a plane? 958 00:44:17,520 --> 00:44:19,279 Do you still think you could? 959 00:44:19,280 --> 00:44:21,439 Yeah, I can still do it. 960 00:44:21,440 --> 00:44:23,279 Well, we need to narrow this down. 961 00:44:23,280 --> 00:44:27,039 So who here has gotten the closest to landing a plane? 962 00:44:27,040 --> 00:44:32,719 Well, not to get my dick out, but I have been on a jet ski. 963 00:44:32,720 --> 00:44:33,439 Oh! 964 00:44:33,440 --> 00:44:35,599 Well done, bro. It's gonna be you. 965 00:44:35,600 --> 00:44:36,319 OK. 966 00:44:36,320 --> 00:44:37,559 Well, what we're actually looking for 967 00:44:37,560 --> 00:44:40,719 is anything resembling aviation experience. 968 00:44:40,720 --> 00:44:41,399 Oh! 969 00:44:41,400 --> 00:44:44,399 I have access to the Virgin Atlantic Clubhouse. 970 00:44:44,400 --> 00:44:45,439 Oh, come on! 971 00:44:45,440 --> 00:44:46,559 That's so cool! 972 00:44:46,560 --> 00:44:48,119 I am afraid of heights, though. 973 00:44:48,120 --> 00:44:49,599 Will that be a problem? - No. 974 00:44:49,600 --> 00:44:50,279 No, no. 975 00:44:50,280 --> 00:44:52,279 The closer you get to the ground, 976 00:44:52,280 --> 00:44:53,559 the less it'll be an issue, bro. 977 00:44:53,560 --> 00:44:54,479 Oh, that's great. 978 00:44:54,480 --> 00:44:55,559 We are getting really close. 979 00:44:55,560 --> 00:44:56,519 So who's it gonna be? 980 00:44:56,520 --> 00:45:00,319 Well, I literally just watched "Top Gun, Maverick." 981 00:45:00,320 --> 00:45:01,720 So I feel like I'm in the zone. 982 00:45:01,960 --> 00:45:04,519 The danger zone. 983 00:45:05,680 --> 00:45:07,279 Yo! 984 00:45:07,280 --> 00:45:08,719 Can I point out, that reference 985 00:45:08,720 --> 00:45:09,719 doesn't entirely work. 986 00:45:09,720 --> 00:45:13,039 "Danger Zone" is actually the theme to the first "Top Gun." 987 00:45:13,040 --> 00:45:14,439 "Maverick's" theme is, of course, 988 00:45:14,440 --> 00:45:15,760 Lady Gaga's "Hold My Hand." 989 00:45:15,960 --> 00:45:17,719 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 990 00:45:17,720 --> 00:45:18,639 He should land it. 991 00:45:18,640 --> 00:45:20,359 He knows most about planes! 992 00:45:20,360 --> 00:45:21,159 Sorry, bro. 993 00:45:21,160 --> 00:45:23,119 Well, can anyone do better than whatever that was? 994 00:45:23,120 --> 00:45:26,759 Well, I'm actually really comfortable driving in France. 995 00:45:26,760 --> 00:45:27,639 Ooh-la-la. 996 00:45:27,640 --> 00:45:29,479 Oh, that's good. 997 00:45:29,480 --> 00:45:32,759 I got my wife pregnant, like, first go. 998 00:45:32,760 --> 00:45:34,279 One and done! 999 00:45:34,280 --> 00:45:35,239 Oh, beautiful. 1000 00:45:35,240 --> 00:45:36,119 That is beautiful. 1001 00:45:36,120 --> 00:45:39,039 Wait a second, hold on, I wrote 1002 00:45:39,040 --> 00:45:42,519 a song called "Learn To Fly." 1003 00:45:42,520 --> 00:45:45,519 Shut up, Dave Grohl! 1004 00:45:45,520 --> 00:45:49,719 Because I've got another confession to make. 1005 00:45:49,720 --> 00:45:53,559 I have been in a cockpit before. 1006 00:45:53,560 --> 00:45:55,799 See, I always knew it'd be you. 1007 00:45:55,800 --> 00:45:57,079 That's right! 1008 00:45:57,080 --> 00:46:01,599 I was on holiday, Mykonos, Greece. 1009 00:46:01,600 --> 00:46:06,279 Me and my wife, I got ripped off by one of them 1010 00:46:06,280 --> 00:46:07,479 seafood restaurants. 1011 00:46:07,480 --> 00:46:12,239 Oh, they don't tell you that they charge by the gram. 1012 00:46:12,240 --> 00:46:14,999 My wife asked me to confront the waiter. 1013 00:46:15,000 --> 00:46:16,479 Give him a piece of my mind. 1014 00:46:16,480 --> 00:46:18,119 Simon, please don't do this. 1015 00:46:20,680 --> 00:46:23,359 And what did I do instead? 1016 00:46:23,360 --> 00:46:25,639 I just paid the bill. 1017 00:46:25,640 --> 00:46:27,399 Pathetic! 1018 00:46:27,400 --> 00:46:31,399 She couldn't look me in the eye for the rest of the trip. 1019 00:46:31,400 --> 00:46:34,039 Then came the flight home. 1020 00:46:34,040 --> 00:46:39,239 Oh, there's the link. 1021 00:46:43,040 --> 00:46:47,279 Just after takeoff, I snuck in the cockpit. 1022 00:46:47,280 --> 00:46:49,719 Slipped a little something into the pilots' 1023 00:46:49,720 --> 00:46:52,639 drinks to knock them out cold. 1024 00:46:52,640 --> 00:46:55,679 That way, it had to be me landing the plane. 1025 00:46:55,680 --> 00:46:58,399 No longer the coward in Mykonos. 1026 00:46:58,400 --> 00:47:03,519 But the hero in Luton! 1027 00:47:03,520 --> 00:47:06,159 Luton! 1028 00:47:06,160 --> 00:47:09,399 What I hadn't planned is that all the other men 1029 00:47:09,400 --> 00:47:11,359 would want to land it, too. 1030 00:47:11,360 --> 00:47:12,079 Hang on. 1031 00:47:12,080 --> 00:47:13,719 We've just come from Mykonos. 1032 00:47:13,720 --> 00:47:15,599 So you're talking about right now. 1033 00:47:15,600 --> 00:47:19,559 So that means you put all these people's 1034 00:47:19,560 --> 00:47:23,359 lives in danger just for me? 1035 00:47:23,360 --> 00:47:24,359 Kiss her! 1036 00:47:24,360 --> 00:47:25,720 Kiss her, man! 1037 00:47:25,960 --> 00:47:26,559 Yeah! 1038 00:47:28,440 --> 00:47:30,759 Oh, go on then! 1039 00:47:30,760 --> 00:47:33,559 Thank you for having faith in me. 1040 00:47:33,560 --> 00:47:34,559 Take us home! 1041 00:47:34,560 --> 00:47:36,319 - You got this, mate. - Wow! 1042 00:47:36,320 --> 00:47:38,399 Go on then. Go on, sir. 1043 00:47:38,400 --> 00:47:39,319 Land that plane. 1044 00:47:39,320 --> 00:47:41,479 You're my hero! 1045 00:47:41,480 --> 00:47:42,639 You got this. 1046 00:47:42,640 --> 00:47:43,399 Yeah! 1047 00:47:43,400 --> 00:47:46,279 You've got this, baby. 1048 00:47:46,280 --> 00:47:47,359 You got it? 1049 00:47:47,360 --> 00:47:48,519 No, no. 1050 00:47:48,520 --> 00:47:50,279 No idea. 1051 00:47:50,280 --> 00:47:51,719 Sorry, everyone. 1052 00:48:14,240 --> 00:48:19,199 Once again, Foo Fighters! 1053 00:48:19,200 --> 00:48:23,399 ♪ I was a child actor ♪ 1054 00:48:23,400 --> 00:48:28,639 ♪ A face on the wall ♪ 1055 00:48:28,640 --> 00:48:29,679 ♪ Holding my breath ♪ 1056 00:48:29,680 --> 00:48:35,519 ♪ As I wait for the curtain to fall ♪ 1057 00:48:35,520 --> 00:48:39,279 ♪ Was it good enough? ♪ 1058 00:48:39,280 --> 00:48:42,759 ♪ Was it ever good enough? ♪ 1059 00:48:42,760 --> 00:48:50,359 ♪ Anything to be the person that you want ♪ 1060 00:48:50,360 --> 00:48:55,079 ♪ I was a child actor ♪ 1061 00:48:55,080 --> 00:48:59,079 ♪ Born to applause ♪ 1062 00:48:59,080 --> 00:49:06,519 ♪ Wasting away as I chase all the roles I've lost ♪ 1063 00:49:06,520 --> 00:49:10,359 ♪ Was I good enough? ♪ 1064 00:49:10,360 --> 00:49:14,359 ♪ Was I ever good enough? ♪ 1065 00:49:14,360 --> 00:49:17,399 ♪ Is it me that they see ♪ 1066 00:49:17,400 --> 00:49:21,719 ♪ When the cameras are off? ♪ 1067 00:49:21,720 --> 00:49:25,479 ♪ Won't you turn the cameras off, ♪ 1068 00:49:25,480 --> 00:49:27,359 ♪ Turn the cameras off ♪ 1069 00:49:27,360 --> 00:49:29,359 ♪ Turn the cameras off, ♪ 1070 00:49:29,360 --> 00:49:31,199 ♪ Turn the cameras off ♪ 1071 00:49:31,200 --> 00:49:33,199 ♪ Turn the cameras off, ♪ 1072 00:49:33,200 --> 00:49:36,719 ♪ Turn the cameras off ♪ 1073 00:49:36,720 --> 00:49:41,199 ♪ I was a child actor ♪ 1074 00:49:41,200 --> 00:49:45,439 ♪ A name on the board ♪ 1075 00:49:45,440 --> 00:49:53,039 ♪ Losing myself as I use someone else's words ♪ 1076 00:49:53,040 --> 00:49:56,759 ♪ Is it true enough? ♪ 1077 00:49:56,760 --> 00:50:00,239 ♪ Is it ever true enough? ♪ 1078 00:50:00,240 --> 00:50:08,679 ♪ Understand who I am when the credits roll ♪ 1079 00:50:08,680 --> 00:50:12,039 ♪ Won't you turn the cameras off, ♪ 1080 00:50:12,040 --> 00:50:13,719 ♪ Turn the cameras off ♪ 1081 00:50:13,720 --> 00:50:15,759 ♪ Turn the cameras off, ♪ 1082 00:50:15,760 --> 00:50:17,559 ♪ Turn the cameras off ♪ 1083 00:50:17,560 --> 00:50:19,559 ♪ Turn the cameras off, ♪ 1084 00:50:19,560 --> 00:50:21,399 ♪ Turn the cameras off ♪ 1085 00:50:21,400 --> 00:50:23,399 ♪ Turn the cameras off, ♪ 1086 00:50:23,400 --> 00:50:25,239 ♪ Turn the cameras off ♪ 1087 00:50:25,240 --> 00:50:27,239 ♪ Turn the cameras off, ♪ 1088 00:50:27,240 --> 00:50:29,079 ♪ Turn the cameras off ♪ 1089 00:50:29,080 --> 00:50:31,119 ♪ Turn the cameras off, ♪ 1090 00:50:31,120 --> 00:50:32,759 ♪ Turn the cameras off ♪ 1091 00:50:32,760 --> 00:50:34,799 ♪ Turn the cameras off, ♪ 1092 00:50:34,800 --> 00:50:36,639 ♪ Turn the cameras off ♪ 1093 00:50:36,640 --> 00:50:38,679 ♪ Turn the cameras off, ♪ 1094 00:50:38,680 --> 00:50:40,119 ♪ Turn the cameras off ♪ 1095 00:50:40,120 --> 00:50:45,559 ♪ Say, aren't you who I think you are? ♪ 1096 00:50:47,520 --> 00:50:52,719 ♪ Hey, aren't you who I think you are? ♪ 1097 00:50:55,720 --> 00:50:59,199 ♪ Where have I seen your face? ♪ 1098 00:50:59,200 --> 00:51:03,199 ♪ I've seen your face before ♪ 1099 00:51:03,200 --> 00:51:07,439 ♪ I don't know who you think you are ♪ 1100 00:51:07,440 --> 00:51:09,399 ♪ Turn the cameras off, ♪ 1101 00:51:09,400 --> 00:51:11,279 ♪ Turn the cameras off ♪ 1102 00:51:11,280 --> 00:51:13,399 ♪ Turn the cameras off, ♪ 1103 00:51:13,400 --> 00:51:15,319 ♪ Turn the cameras off ♪ 1104 00:51:15,320 --> 00:51:17,359 ♪ Turn the cameras off, ♪ 1105 00:51:17,360 --> 00:51:19,279 ♪ Turn the cameras off ♪ 1106 00:51:19,280 --> 00:51:21,399 ♪ Turn the cameras off, ♪ 1107 00:51:21,400 --> 00:51:23,279 ♪ Turn the cameras off ♪ 1108 00:51:23,280 --> 00:51:25,279 ♪ Turn the cameras off, ♪ 1109 00:51:25,280 --> 00:51:27,119 ♪ Turn the cameras off ♪ 1110 00:51:27,120 --> 00:51:29,159 ♪ Turn the cameras off, ♪ 1111 00:51:29,160 --> 00:51:30,799 ♪ Turn the cameras off ♪ 1112 00:51:30,800 --> 00:51:32,800 ♪ Turn the cameras off, ♪ 1113 00:51:33,000 --> 00:51:34,679 ♪ Turn the cameras off ♪ 1114 00:51:34,680 --> 00:51:36,719 ♪ Turn the cameras off, ♪ 1115 00:51:36,720 --> 00:51:38,559 ♪ Turn the cameras off ♪ 1116 00:51:38,560 --> 00:51:40,599 ♪ Turn the cameras off, ♪ 1117 00:51:40,600 --> 00:51:42,439 ♪ Turn the cameras off ♪ 1118 00:51:42,440 --> 00:51:44,479 ♪ Turn the cameras off, ♪ 1119 00:51:44,480 --> 00:51:46,279 ♪ Turn the cameras off ♪ 1120 00:51:46,280 --> 00:51:48,399 ♪ Turn the cameras off, ♪ 1121 00:51:48,400 --> 00:51:52,119 ♪ Turn the cameras off ♪ 1122 00:51:52,120 --> 00:51:55,559 ♪ I was a child actor ♪ 1123 00:52:32,000 --> 00:52:33,359 I think we got him. 1124 00:52:33,360 --> 00:52:36,199 That killer can't hurt us anymore. 1125 00:52:36,200 --> 00:52:39,800 Worst hen do ever. 1126 00:52:40,000 --> 00:52:42,439 Next time, I'm booking a hotel. 1127 00:52:42,440 --> 00:52:43,199 Airbnb? 1128 00:52:43,200 --> 00:52:45,759 More like scare he and she. 1129 00:52:45,760 --> 00:52:48,799 No, but seriously, all of our friends are dead. 1130 00:52:51,640 --> 00:52:53,639 OK, look, I know I'm late. 1131 00:52:53,640 --> 00:52:58,800 But before you start, it's not my fault. 1132 00:52:59,040 --> 00:52:59,719 Oh, my God. 1133 00:52:59,720 --> 00:53:01,359 You wouldn't believe what's happened to us, Grace. 1134 00:53:01,360 --> 00:53:04,119 Oh, my God, literally the same for me. 1135 00:53:04,120 --> 00:53:05,079 I know I'm late again. 1136 00:53:05,080 --> 00:53:08,039 But in my defense, I didn't know about the tube strike. 1137 00:53:08,040 --> 00:53:09,239 My period pain is insane. 1138 00:53:09,240 --> 00:53:11,759 And when I was almost here, I had to go back in an Uber 1139 00:53:11,760 --> 00:53:16,079 because I had to check out my hair straighteners off. 1140 00:53:16,080 --> 00:53:19,760 We've had the worst night of our lives. 1141 00:53:20,000 --> 00:53:22,679 Oh, my God, are you guys mad at me? 1142 00:53:22,680 --> 00:53:23,679 Really? 1143 00:53:23,680 --> 00:53:25,599 Guys, I feel really attacked. 1144 00:53:25,600 --> 00:53:29,359 We've literally been attacked. 1145 00:53:29,360 --> 00:53:32,279 Oh, my God, I see. 1146 00:53:32,280 --> 00:53:35,119 Oh, you invited Katie. 1147 00:53:35,120 --> 00:53:37,159 Even though we're not speaking. 1148 00:53:37,160 --> 00:53:38,319 She's dead. 1149 00:53:38,320 --> 00:53:39,359 OK, yeah, that is sad. 1150 00:53:39,360 --> 00:53:41,639 But she literally touched my boyfriend's knee 1151 00:53:41,640 --> 00:53:42,559 at Mighty Hoopla. 1152 00:53:42,560 --> 00:53:44,359 And then she was like, really curt with me over text. 1153 00:53:44,360 --> 00:53:46,799 I bet she had a lot to say about me being 1154 00:53:46,800 --> 00:53:50,399 late before she was dead. 1155 00:53:50,400 --> 00:53:52,639 It honestly never came up. 1156 00:53:52,640 --> 00:53:53,439 Oh, wow. 1157 00:53:53,440 --> 00:53:56,559 So, like, no one even noticed that I wasn't here. 1158 00:53:56,560 --> 00:53:59,279 Well, I guess it wasn't a surprise 1159 00:53:59,280 --> 00:54:01,599 because you are always late. 1160 00:54:01,600 --> 00:54:03,279 Do you know what was a surprise? 1161 00:54:03,280 --> 00:54:05,439 A man jumping out of the cupboard! 1162 00:54:05,440 --> 00:54:06,319 OK, here we go. 1163 00:54:06,320 --> 00:54:09,079 I literally knew you were mad. 1164 00:54:09,080 --> 00:54:11,279 Yeah, of course, we're mad! 1165 00:54:11,280 --> 00:54:13,599 Look, is it ADHD or is it just CBA? 1166 00:54:13,600 --> 00:54:17,199 It is not my fault. I have always been a late girl. 1167 00:54:17,200 --> 00:54:19,759 My mom had to be induced. 1168 00:54:19,760 --> 00:54:24,039 If you're gonna be late, just say you're gonna be late. 1169 00:54:24,040 --> 00:54:26,279 We literally have you on Find My Friends. 1170 00:54:26,280 --> 00:54:28,399 We know your ass is at Creams. 1171 00:54:28,400 --> 00:54:30,760 I sent a text. 1172 00:54:31,000 --> 00:54:32,319 Oh, wow. 1173 00:54:32,320 --> 00:54:33,479 She sent a text. 1174 00:54:33,480 --> 00:54:34,319 Oh, wow. 1175 00:54:34,320 --> 00:54:35,359 She sent a text. 1176 00:54:38,440 --> 00:54:41,559 Yeah, obviously there's no signal in a creepy cabin 1177 00:54:41,560 --> 00:54:42,399 in the woods! 1178 00:54:42,400 --> 00:54:44,239 OK, so it's my fault Suzanne is dead? 1179 00:54:44,240 --> 00:54:46,559 It's my fault that her head got pulled from her body 1180 00:54:46,560 --> 00:54:49,479 like she was being pulled up on stage by Justin Bieber 1181 00:54:49,480 --> 00:54:54,359 to be his one less lonely girl? 1182 00:54:54,360 --> 00:54:55,359 God, that's funny. 1183 00:54:55,360 --> 00:54:59,399 This is exactly why we wish you weren't late, girl. 1184 00:54:59,400 --> 00:55:00,399 You are good crack. 1185 00:55:00,400 --> 00:55:01,319 Like I know it's true. 1186 00:55:01,320 --> 00:55:03,719 Look, guys, if I'm being honest, 1187 00:55:03,720 --> 00:55:05,479 I was late because I was literally 1188 00:55:05,480 --> 00:55:10,599 seeing A24's "The Drama." 1189 00:55:10,600 --> 00:55:13,039 I got Tracy's blood in my mouth. 1190 00:55:13,040 --> 00:55:16,559 Meanwhile, you were at Cineworld Islington, 1191 00:55:16,560 --> 00:55:19,239 nursing a tango ice blast? 1192 00:55:19,240 --> 00:55:23,159 You don't need to see "The Drama," girl. 1193 00:55:23,160 --> 00:55:24,119 You are the drama! 1194 00:55:24,120 --> 00:55:26,239 Guys, I just feel like every time we hang out, 1195 00:55:26,240 --> 00:55:28,159 I'm being told off for something. 1196 00:55:28,160 --> 00:55:30,439 For being late! 1197 00:55:32,040 --> 00:55:33,239 Right, sorry to chip in. 1198 00:55:33,240 --> 00:55:36,039 Sir, who are you and why are you getting involved? 1199 00:55:36,040 --> 00:55:38,199 Well, I was waiting to gain the strength 1200 00:55:38,200 --> 00:55:39,239 to jump out and kill you. 1201 00:55:39,240 --> 00:55:43,559 But I actually cannot sit here and listen to any more of this. 1202 00:55:43,560 --> 00:55:44,479 You were late. 1203 00:55:44,480 --> 00:55:48,119 Take some accountability. 1204 00:55:49,480 --> 00:55:54,399 Clive, you killed all the people without me. 1205 00:55:54,400 --> 00:55:55,119 Girl-- 1206 00:55:55,120 --> 00:55:57,799 'Cause you were late! 1207 00:56:02,520 --> 00:56:12,999 "45 Seconds with Fouracres." 1208 00:56:13,000 --> 00:56:15,359 ♪ Apples and oranges, raspberries ♪ 1209 00:56:15,360 --> 00:56:17,039 ú ♪ Watermelon and kiwi fruit ♪ 1210 00:56:17,040 --> 00:56:19,319 ♪ Mangoes and blueberries and loads of grapes ♪ 1211 00:56:19,320 --> 00:56:21,399 ♪ And Epstein didn't kill himself ♪ 1212 00:56:21,400 --> 00:56:23,359 ♪ Green the field is full of corn ♪ 1213 00:56:23,360 --> 00:56:25,279 ♪ Lit by the light of an English morn ♪ 1214 00:56:25,280 --> 00:56:27,359 ♪ Daffodils bloom at the sky at dawn ♪ 1215 00:56:27,360 --> 00:56:29,239 ♪ And Epstein didn't kill himself ♪ 1216 00:56:29,240 --> 00:56:31,679 ♪ Daisies and carrots and peas and yams ♪ 1217 00:56:31,680 --> 00:56:33,599 ♪ Epstein didn't kill himself ♪ 1218 00:56:33,600 --> 00:56:35,439 ♪ Cauli and broco, zucchini flowers ♪ 1219 00:56:35,440 --> 00:56:36,760 ♪ Epstein didn't kill himself ♪ 1220 00:56:37,000 --> 00:56:38,599 ♪ Sing God's praise for the day he's made ♪ 1221 00:56:38,600 --> 00:56:40,479 ♪ The land and the sea to the world he gave ♪ 1222 00:56:40,480 --> 00:56:42,639 ♪ For killing the twat who stood to gain ♪ 1223 00:56:42,640 --> 00:56:48,759 ♪ From saying his name, we must refrain ♪ 1224 00:56:53,200 --> 00:56:55,679 ♪ Rocket and spinach and cavolo nero ♪ 1225 00:56:55,680 --> 00:56:57,159 ♪ Epstein didn't kill himself ♪ 1226 00:56:57,160 --> 00:56:59,359 ♪ Red sky at night, shepherd's delight ♪ 1227 00:56:59,360 --> 00:57:04,719 ♪ Epstein did not kill himself ♪ 1228 00:57:07,400 --> 00:57:12,639 Goodnight, god bless, love you! 1229 00:57:12,640 --> 00:57:16,319 "45 Seconds with Fouracres." 1230 00:57:16,320 --> 00:57:21,079 My biggest thanks to the Foo Fighters, Jimmy Fallon, and 1231 00:57:21,080 --> 00:57:22,519 a huge thank you to the cast, writers, 1232 00:57:22,520 --> 00:57:24,719 and everyone on the show for such a great week. 1233 00:57:24,720 --> 00:57:26,239 I have had the best time. 1234 00:57:26,240 --> 00:57:27,999 It's been an honor to host. 1235 00:57:28,000 --> 00:57:28,760 Good night!